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Band 5

Some people believe that the government should continuously support the development of arts. Others believe that the money can be well spent on scientific research. Discuss both and give your own opinion.

#people #government #support #development #arts #money #research
Individual
Add an article
The individual
An individual
show examples
 thinks it is better to set a budget to support
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art
 but in front of it,
some
Correct word choice
but some
show examples
people
 believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it must
spent
Change the verb form
be spent
spend
show examples
 on scientific research to improve our
scientists
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 and
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 knowledge. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 spending
money
 on
scientific
Add an article
the scientific
show examples
 area is more
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 and vital
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 like
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of knowledge we have to win
this
 competition from all other countries.
First
 of all spending
money
 on
art
 and entertainment is really good to support our
Correct your spelling
artists
asrtists
Correct your spelling
artists
 and I believed that even it can be a good
encourage
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
 to born new
masterpeace
Correct your spelling
masterpiece
.
For instance
,
annually
Change the word
annual
show examples
money
 support can be an awesome incentive for painters or singers etc. The fact that helping them in their way,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can improve
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 industry.
On the other hand
, some groups of
people
 believed that it is much better to spend
money
 on scientific investigation and experiments.
For example
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government organizations spend some budget on climate change, they can find many ways faster and much easier to protect the
world
 in front of many dangerous
circumstance
Change to a plural noun
circumstances
show examples
. Due to many problems in the
world
 like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 lack of food, lack of a place for
inhabitats
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
, climate change, increasing prices and many other problems it would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 to invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
scientific
scentific
Correct your spelling
scientific
, we can even save the
world
 and many
people
's life with
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
. To sum up, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 scientific
Correct your spelling
research
reaserch
Correct your spelling
research
 is my cup of tea, in my opinion saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life or
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 future
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the hand of scientists are hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than
art
. Artists can bring and make incomes and improve their sales by advertising and they can spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the developments
show examples
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 of
art
 but researchers can't spend a lot of
money
 to learn how to save
people
's life.
Submitted by Sobhan Izadi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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