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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends #development
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It is quite common in many countries that
people
Use synonyms
move
Fix the infinitive
to move
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 out of their parent's house after completing high school. In my opinion, it is a good sign because it shows that those young
people
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 are capable and independent. Upbringing by their
parents
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 is effective
that
Change preposition
in that
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 they are confident to depend on themselves.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons that youngsters leave their
parents
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’
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 for good. One of them could be that they want to
further
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 study overseas. When they are away from their
parents
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, they have to take care of themselves. They tend to get tougher and more confident as they need to make decisions themselves.
For example
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, when they arrive in a foreign country, they need to find accommodation. As they are there alone, they have to decide which one to take with all the knowledge that they have. Even though they may have made some bad decisions
initially
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, they would learn from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 and get mature.
Therefore
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, staying separate from their
parents
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 can help young
people
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 develop life skills. In some cases, especially in western countries, teenagers would like to get freedom.
Besides
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,
parents
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also
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 train them to be independent so that they can stand on their feet after high school. If they stay with their
parents
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, they tend to get protection and so it is less likely for them to reach their full potential.
For instance
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, if youngsters decide to live with their
parents
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, they may not need to worry about the rent or food.
As a result
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, they may not be desperate to get themselves a job. They might be wasting their time playing games or hanging out with friends
instead
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 of working hard to earn their own living. To sum up, it is the right move for young
people
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 to live separately from their
parents
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 once they complete high school. Without the protection of
parents
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, they tend to be more decisive and grow stronger to deal with problems in their lives.
Submitted by yi.jun.smile26 on

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