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Band 4

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier,while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology
It is true that shopping today gets easier through modern
technology
. While a number of
people
 believe that traditional shopping gives them a realistic feeling and chooses suitable things to buy , I would agree that modern
high-
Correct your spelling
high-technology
show examples
technology
 shopping is really effective with busy individuals. On the one hand, advanced
technology
 has transformed and facilitated shopping in the developed world. Online shopping has grown in popularity. It is beneficial to shop online
convenience
Replace the word
conveniently
show examples
 at home and receive goods after a few days.
people
 could save time when going out to shop at stores.
Furthermore
, online shopping systems offer numerous tools for users
such
 as size charts,
pictures
Correct word choice
and pictures
show examples
 of real goods on comment pages which other users share after
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
show examples
.
On the other hand
, a number of older
people
 might find it hard to use new
technology
 in shopping,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 they are really confused.
Thus
, older generations prefer to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stores and supermarkets to touch and take a choice of goods which
convince
Correct subject-verb agreement
convinces
show examples
 them to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
, a number of shoppers prefer to try clothes at stores to choose suitable clothes for their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. In conclusion, each individual would have
distinction
Add an article
a distinction
the distinction
show examples
 in shopping.
However
, it seems to me that the advanced
technology
 in shopping is convenient for busy
people
.
Submitted by josynguyen92 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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