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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier,while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology
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It is true that shopping today gets easier through modern
technology
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. While a number of
people
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 believe that traditional shopping gives them a realistic feeling and chooses suitable things to buy , I would agree that modern
high-
Correct your spelling
high-technology
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technology
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 shopping is really effective with busy individuals. On the one hand, advanced
technology
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 has transformed and facilitated shopping in the developed world. Online shopping has grown in popularity. It is beneficial to shop online
convenience
Replace the word
conveniently
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 at home and receive goods after a few days.
people
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 could save time when going out to shop at stores.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online shopping systems offer numerous tools for users
such
Linking Words
 as size charts,
pictures
Correct word choice
and pictures
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 of real goods on comment pages which other users share after
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
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.
On the other hand
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, a number of older
people
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 might find it hard to use new
technology
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 in shopping,
in
Correct word choice
and in
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 some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
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 they are really confused.
Thus
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, older generations prefer to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stores and supermarkets to touch and take a choice of goods which
convince
Correct subject-verb agreement
convinces
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 them to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
For example
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, a number of shoppers prefer to try clothes at stores to choose suitable clothes for their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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. In conclusion, each individual would have
distinction
Add an article
a distinction
the distinction
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 in shopping.
However
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, it seems to me that the advanced
technology
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 in shopping is convenient for busy
people
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.
Submitted by josynguyen92 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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