Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in school. What could be the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?

#children #attention #school

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concentration at schools has become a controversial argument. Whilst the main reason behind

this

Linking Words

is the ubiquity of smartphones, I am a staunch believer that the best tactic to mitigate

this

Linking Words

issue is school involvement. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the leading factors, along with possible solutions will be

further

Linking Words

elaborated. To embark on, despite the fact that mobile phones have revolutionized different aspects of modern life, they are considered to be a veiled threat to teenagers.

This

Linking Words

means that when young people find their smart devices always available, they will spend a significant amount of their time playing video games, and

this

Linking Words

will hinder their academic performance. An eminent example of

this

Linking Words

is the PUBG game which has attracted the attention of the overwhelming majority of youth.

Therefore

Linking Words

, what can be said is that schools should raise

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness about the hazardous effects of smartphones.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, school management should intervene to encourage students to abandon their cell phones, but

this

Linking Words

has to be a cooperative mission.

In other words

Linking Words

, if educational institutions motivate students, they will be less chained to their cellular devices and will become significantly focused on their academic progress.

This

Linking Words

can be witnessed by international Egyptian schools which have increased the number of running, climbing and football classes.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, in a final analysis, educational institutions play a quintessential role in gravitating students towards more concentration. In conclusion, after

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only do smartphones negatively affect youth's concentration, but

also

Linking Words

they may lead to health complications. Eventually, I emphasize that without school intrusion, teenagers could not have been protected.

Submitted by ericssonsony551 on Sun Nov 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by some that by building more sports facilities, improvement in overall public health can be achieved. Others suggest to look for alternate approaches as more facilities would not have a significant impact. While building more activity centres would help people stay fit, I believe that constructing more modern public healthcare units will benefit individuals in this regard.
5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely believed that many communities are ageing recently which indeed concerns the governments. However, elderly people are beloved, they may need special cares that cost a lot of money. Also, an old population will certainly struggle with many challanges including a decline in econemy and work force.
4
band
Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The increase of stressed people from job currently is strongly growing up, it causes a serious problem for everybody who working. For that reason, there's an idea about two crucial factors involving job: how people prefer their job and main purpose for work is about regular income. Which one is more necessary to improve a better work life? This idea give me both views, so i am going to explain my opinion in this essay.
5.5
band
Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Given the pivotal role of passion in occupation, the question of whether people should opt for unemployment rather than working but not interested . One common perspective of many people, myself included advocates the opinion that it is more necessary for individuals to be unemployed than to be employed but not enjoy.
6
band
TASK 2 Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the modern era, the phenomenon of consumerism is becoming increasingly more popular among the young generation, they tend to spend the majority of their free time doing joy shopping and it has caused some concerns relating to the drawbacks on youngsters and their communities. This writer agrees with this belief because of the individuals' financial burden and the low-quality workforce.

Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in school. What could be the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK 2 Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?