Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #school #home

Some people think that

children

should watch

not only at

home

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

school

, because, for them, watching

is more efficient for some

children

in terms of learning. I completely disagree with

this

idea, because it can be more effective to learn from

teachers

school

and by watching

home

equally,

also

watching it so much can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their eyes.

First

of all, obviously watching

is very helpful for some

children

who want to learn something, but the combination of learning from

teachers

school

and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

home

could be more beneficial. Despite the fact that

children

learn faster visually, they are not able to ask TVs question, but

teachers

Add a missing verb

do.

show examples

For example

, after learning a new lesson at

school

children

can improve their knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

that lesson by watching something related to that on

home

then

if there are any unclear points, they can ask their

teachers

in the following days.

In addition

, if

children

were encouraged to watch

both in

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

and at

home

, it would lead them to spend too much time in front of

screen

Add an article

the screen

a screen

show examples

As a result

, they would face health problems

such

as weakness in their eyes(?). The rate of

children

who have issues in their eyes

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been increasing for the

last

decades, as the usage of TVs

rise

Change the verb form

rises

show examples

up.

Therefore

, it could be

Correct your spelling

healthier

show examples

heathier

Correct your spelling

healthier

show examples

to less

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time as much as possible which is spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

. To conclude, though watching

is effective for some

children

for learning, it would be better to use it only at

home

, because it reduces the time

children

spend in front of

screen

Add an article

the screen

a screen

show examples

, and help them to take advantage of both

teachers

and

Submitted by manqanat1 on Sun Nov 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion, should be done about it?
Most students cannot apply for jobs in their own profession after graduating from university. In my opinion, the root of this problem caused by the higher education system does not have some practical experience. Modernization of this should be a good solution.
7.5
band
Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed by many that many social issues such as traffic jams and accommodation will be tackled easily by relocating industrial spaces to outskirt zones. The writer of this essay, however, remains unconvinced by this school of thought because of the improvement in local infrastructure coupled with the rising population in the countryside.
5.5
band
Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?
At school, it has been a mandatory for teachers to hold an exam in order to know students performance. Children are given questions that has been studied in the class and needed to be answered in a limited time. Even though this way of learning has been running for decades, I agree that exams are not always be able to measure student's performance precisely. Let me share some of my perspectives.
6.5
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. in your letter correct the information in the article explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information suggest what the magazine should do about this situation
I am writing about your recent article about my hometown Tehran which was published last week.
6
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There have been competing views on whether highly qualified people should work in the country where they trained. In my opinion, they should be free to work wherever they want in order to achieve maximum career fulfillment.

Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion, should be done about it?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.