In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Stores should not have permission to sell
people
food
or
drinks
that
harmful
Add a missing verb
are harmful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
. As
health
is the most important thing for us I completely agree with
this
opinion.
Health
is
most
Add an article
a most
show examples
priceless thing than anything else.
People
should take care of their life, because if they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
it will be suffering for them. As
food
and
drinks
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
directly, they should be chosen carefully.
For instance
, some
food
or
drinks
that scientifically proven to be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
people
will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause serious diseases in future. That’s why we should protect
us
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
and be careful what we eat. Another reason is it is not
ethic
Replace the word
ethical
show examples
to sell something that has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
’s
health
. Shops should not sell
these
Change the determiner
this food
show examples
food
and
drinks
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
benefit from them. It is understandable that not everyone thinks
this
way
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just like company leaders,
however
it wrong way to earn money. So, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
shop leaders should be more careful what they sell and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
understand they have responsibility for
people
. To summarize, as
people
’s life is valuable,
food
and drink should be made more carefully and of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
it is not ethical to damage their
health
.
Submitted by manqanat1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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