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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #places #age #cultures #youth
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In certain parts of the
world
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, elderly
people
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 are valued more , while in some other
countries
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 importance is given to young
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 is due to various reasons and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both of these views and offers an opinion.
First
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 off, elderly
people
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 tend
influence
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to influence
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 or direct the
countries
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 based on the
country
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's
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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 and traditions.
Countries
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 like Japan value old age
people
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 more as they have made a dramatic change in the
country
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's economy after the
second
Linking Words
world
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 war. Many elderly
people
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 followed traditional methods of running businesses and expanded them across the
world
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.
Further
Linking Words
 western
countries
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 visited Japan to learn about their traditional production methods and lifestyle etc.
Moreover
Linking Words
, old age
people
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 tend to be more inclusive and make calm and composed decisions and these may benefit everyone in the
country
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 or region. Due to their past experience, they are more capable of handling difficult situations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, youths dominate the developed
countries
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 as they are the key reasons for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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faster economic growth and
technology
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technological
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 developments.
Countries
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 like India and China are called economic
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powerhouses
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power houses
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powerhouses
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 due to their large young population. They are the major reason for
surge
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the surge
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economic
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in economic
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 growth in their
countries
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, where the
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countries
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country's
countries'
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 gross domestic products have grown exponentially over the years. Since
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of the workforce in these
countries
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 are youths, they offer many skills to the industries in the region.
Moreover
Linking Words
, youth are able to bring new technologies to the
world
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.
This
Linking Words
 may automate tasks and reduce
cost
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the cost
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 of production in the industries. In my opinion, youth should be given more priority as they help to improve the
country
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's economy and bring optimal results to corporations by introducing
latest
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the latest
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 technologies.
This
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 may help to eliminate traditional manual
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workloads
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work loads
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workloads
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.
People
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 should take care of elderly
people
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 by providing essential needs but involving elderly
people
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 in
decision making
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decision-making
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 should be reduced as they are
resistance
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resistant
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 to change and may affect the growth of the
country
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.
Further
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,
countries
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 like Japan
has
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have
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higher
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a higher
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Correct your spelling
number
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 of older
people
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 and they are
struggling
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tostruggling
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 compete with other
countries
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 since they don't have sufficient young human capital.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
its
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it's
it is
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 necessary to give more priority to
the
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apply
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young
people
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. In conclusion,
the
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apply
show examples
young
people
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 influence the
world
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 more than
the
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apply
show examples
older
people
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 by offering benefits to
countries
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 by improving the economy and the lifestyle of
people
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, elderly
people
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 tend to resist
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
change and do not cope up with the
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Jay_Practise on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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