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Band 4

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantage of this situsation outweigh the advantage?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #advantage #situsation
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
 time young
people
 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important weapon for a
country
. Numerous
country
population
 with relatively a little
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of older
people
 than
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
 of young adults. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will examine the advantage of
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
 of young
people
 more than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
Firstly
, the juvenile of a
country
 is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 fact
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
fastest
Correct article usage
the fastest
show examples
 growing economical situation.
Youth
Correct article usage
The youth
show examples
 generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 of stunning leadership quality
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
 a
country
 to
fastest
Add an article
the fastest
a fastest
show examples
 world more than senior citizens.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
 have knowledge about deep and modern technology to use them perfectly and precisely,
also
 they can get output from
these technology
Change the determiner
this technology
these technologies
show examples
 very positively.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
people
 can run a
country
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
forward very exquisitely
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 getting the highest destination of
technological
Add an article
the technological
a technological
show examples
 era, whereas older
people
 are less compatible
gor
Correct your spelling
for
or
this
 pioneer. When a government has
great
Change the article
a great
the great
show examples
number
 of youth
people
,
then
 the
country
 can use them as a booster of
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 development.
On the other hand
, it can be explicit that the various
number
 of young adults generation is more innovative than
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
population
. They can manage every critical
circumstances
Change to a singular noun
circumstance
show examples
 by new
Add a hyphen
eye-catching
show examples
eye catching
Add a hyphen
eye-catching
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 with
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 innovative step.
For example
, the innovation of substantial plastic polythene in Bangladesh,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is actually made
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 jute and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is incredibly
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
 friendly. The huge
number
 of adolescent
peoples
Change noun form
peoples'
people's
show examples
 advantage is they are
pole
Add an article
a pole
show examples
 of globalisation
such
 as
big
Change the article
a big
the big
show examples
number
 of adapt
population
 in China. If a
country
 can make sure
Change preposition
of a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intelligent young generation
then
 the
country
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flourish
Change the verb form
flourishing
show examples
country
 within
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 one or two decades.
In
Change preposition
Concussion
show examples
concussion
Fix the agreement mistake
Concussions
show examples
, have
huge
Add an article
the huge
a huge
show examples
 advantage
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
 in a
country
 whereas
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
population
 is less significant to grow the
country
.
Submitted by joyzafree on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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