Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and measures are required.

It is widely considered by some
people
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elevating the amount of
sports
facilities
will help with improving public
health
. In spite of the mentioned case, a lot of
people
are convinced that we should create other ideas which will solve the problem with public
health
in view of the fact that the
first
thought would not have achieved all requirements. In my point of view, I believe that building lots of
sports
facilities
will accomplish
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while providing other measures are useful in
this
way
. On the one hand, many think that the key to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
public
health
is by providing a lot of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
around. A big amount of tennis courts, football fields and
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
for volleyball is essential for outside activities in every city. These measures will have increased
a
Change the article
the
show examples
number of
people
who would like to
start
Add the particle
tostart
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
exercises and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. In the consequences,
this
way
of solving the mentioned problem is one of the
key
Change to a plural noun
keys
show examples
.
On the other hand
, many
people
consider
truthful
Correct pronoun usage
it truthful
show examples
that building a lot of
sports
facilities
would not have found
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
way
of enhancing the level of public
health
.
Moreover
, they believe that there should be other methods for it.
For instance
, there are many different
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
classes organised by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteers in my district in Kyiv. Since these activities started, more and more
people
joined
to
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apply
show examples
this
community.
Thus
, I
Correct your spelling
agree
sagree
Correct your spelling
agree
with these both statements. There is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reason for arranging the
sports
facilities
,
however
, I agree up to a point that the other
way
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be made by the government or the volunteers. In conclusion, I would like to
Correct your spelling
emphasize
emphisize
Correct your spelling
emphasise
the importance of providing and creating many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
of solving social problems. I strongly consider that the
sports
facilities
and other
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
will increase the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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