"Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals form society." To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Imprisoning criminals for what they have committed, has been one of the prevalent ways of sanctions all over the world since early history. In my view, I agree to some extent with
this
manner as an effective approach for the prevention of crimes and reforming behaviour, as will be illustrated in the following paragraphs. First of all, freedom is unquestionably the most precious and valuable thing for any human being.
Hence
, it is not the idea of isolating criminals only, but
also
the fact of how harsh is it to deprive someone of their freedom.
This
what
does make
Wrong verb form
makes
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it an effective action of punishment. The feeling of time passing by without doing the things you used to do or having free will over deciding on your own life is no doubt a very painful state.
Subsequently
, I believe it is an efficient way
for limiting
Change preposition
to limit
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crime rates.
Moreover
, relying on penalties solely to curb crimes is not realistic.
That is
why prisons nowadays are accompanied by various programs for behavioural discipline
as well as
other opportunities.
For example
, prisoners are allowed to study or to enrol on courses
while
they are in jail.
Also
, some sentences include a sort of public service that some people can do.
Such
activities have a great impact on altering individuals’ mindsets and preparing them to engage again with the community
besides
being able to find a job later. In conclusion, I believe that modern prisons are the latest and the most acceptable way of dealing with felons that the majority of humanity has agreed with,
due to
being a kind of punishment
in addition
to being a channel for rectifying conduct and thinking.
Submitted by fatmasharaf191 on

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Coherence and cohesion
Ensure to include a stronger and more engaging introduction that clearly presents your stance on the topic and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points.
Task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and enhance the depth of your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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