IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #libraries #waste #resources #money #computers
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One of the social concerns today relates to whether or not
libraries
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 are a waste of capital investment, rendering them to be replaced in the future by
computers
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.
While
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 it is commonly suggested that
computers
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 are way more cost-efficient to operate when compared to a library, others do not believe so. In my opinion,
libraries
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 provide readers with better
information
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 for high-level academic research; meanwhile, the
internet
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's benefit is the quantity of
knowledge
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 and different viewpoints users are exposed to. On the one hand, it is argued that
libraries
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 will become obsolete in the future
due to
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computers
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.
This
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 is because the computer allows for higher work efficiency, especially when it comes to finding
information
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 in a short amount of time. With the improved infrastructure of global
internet
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 connection
along with
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 the widespread access to it, as electronic devices lower their price, the
internet
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 serves as a platform where anyone can contribute their own
knowledge
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 about a subject. With
this
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 vast amount of
information
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 and search engines like Google, it takes less than a minute to find the specific piece of info you need, compared to finding a book and reading the entirety of it. A good illustration of
this
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 can be seen when research by Harvard University has indicated that the speed at which people can have access to
information
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 has increased by 3 times compared to 5 decades ago.
On the other hand
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, others do not share
this
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 line of thought. It is because they consider
information
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 obtained from the
internet
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 less reliable than that through published books. It is previously mentioned that the vast amount of
knowledge
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 the
internet
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 holds is one of its advantages compared to traditional printing products.
However
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, it's
this
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 vastness that makes it difficult to regulate and check for the info's reliability, as practically anyone can contribute their
knowledge
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 pretty easily. In fact, as an example, it is estimated by Yale University that over 30% of all info on the
internet
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 is fake/misconceptions. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that
computers
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 should take over the roles of
libraries
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; meanwhile, others assume that
libraries
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 provide trustworthy
information
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 which the
internet
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/
computers
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 can't consistently do. Personally, I tend to believe that
libraries
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 can supply visitors with better
information
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, more fitting to be used as concrete evidence in university-level research and dissertations; meanwhile, the
internet
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's benefit is the quantity of
knowledge
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 and different viewpoints readers can be exposed to.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, maintaining consistency and avoiding abrupt changes in topics or arguments.
coherence cohesion
Keep transitions smooth between sentences and paragraphs, using a variety of linking words and phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
Focus on a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a restated thesis in the conclusion, providing a sense of closure.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task fully, providing a balanced treatment of both sides of the argument with a clear position represented throughout the essay.
task achievement
Employ a range of structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support arguments, ensuring each example is specific and directly linked to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repository
  • cultural hub
  • community engagement
  • digital divide
  • inequality
  • sustainable
  • affordability
  • technological advancement
  • information retrieval
  • hybrid resources
  • social interaction
  • evolution of libraries
  • complementary
  • access to information
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