Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

#people #copy #behaviour #clothes #be #case

It is hard to deny that

celebrities

have a huge impact on youth. Indeed a lot of young members of society like to imitate

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

sense and

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

behaviour of famous

stars

. It is agreed that

as a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

teens might

Replace the word

lose

show examples

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

themselves by imitating

stars

This

essay will discuss

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

and possible consequences that

this

trend case.

Teenage

Correct article usage

The teenage

show examples

years is the time when people tried to find themselves and shape their personality. So they look at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

and wanna be loved and successful as they are. So youths so aspire to copy

favourite

Correct pronoun usage

their favourite

show examples

stars

because they thought that if they will copy their lifestyle and behaviour in general, they will be as successful as

stars

Correct article usage

the stars

show examples

are.

Also

, often

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

of society try to impress their peers by wearing

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

clothes as

celebrities

are, or just acting like them . On the one

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there is nothing wrong that young people

want

Wrong verb form

wanting

show examples

to be successful and noticed by others.

On the other hand

, unhealthy infatuation

Change preposition

with

show examples

someone might cause negative consequences. People could be so infatuated with a person

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they

started

Add the particle

tostarted

show examples

change themselves and became completely similar

with

Change preposition

show examples

them .

For instance

, Merry Lund from Canada was so obsessed with Angelina Joli

Correct word choice

that

show examples

she even made some plastic surgeries in order to look like Angelina .

Furthermore

, Marry maintained

Correct your spelling

strict

Correct article usage

a strickt

show examples

strickt

Correct your spelling

strict

diet in order to

became

Change the verb

become

show examples

such

slim as Angelina.

Such

unhealthy fanaticism

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

her to

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

her personality and herself in general. To summarise,

success

Correct article usage

the success

show examples

and fame that

celebrities

have is the main reason why teens want to be like them .

Youth

Fix the agreement mistake

Youths

show examples

look at the

stars

and want to be

such

popular as they are . But sometimes it might outgrow

Correct your spelling

show examples

unhealthy infatuation leading to unpleasant consequences.

Submitted by ydotsenko97 on Mon Nov 21 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
aspire
influenced by
lifestyle
fashion choices
social media
visibility
accessible
desirable
followers
endorsements
marketing campaigns
trendsetters
peer pressure
conformity
emulate
experiment
identity
express themselves
admire

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Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Researches show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarettes advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your