IS IT QUITE RIGHT THAT TOP SPORTS PEOPLE SHOULD BE PAID A LOT OF MONEY ? (TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE)

I highly disagree with the statement mentioned above as authentic sportsmanship constitutes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
equal rights amongst all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports people
Correct your spelling
sportspeople
show examples
. Equal rights here
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
denoted as equal paying opportunities. It is disheartening to my belief that top
players
are always paid a lot of money if compared to their peers, sometimes even more than
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
team
combined.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is very biased
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
the top
player
as every other
player
on the
team
contributes a very similar work ethic and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
towards the
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. Every
player
chosen to be performing the sport has been working hard
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the best of their abilities and talent to be anticipated among the
sports
team
.
This
scenario always
misbalance
Correct your spelling
misbalances
show examples
the pay budget which is supposed to be divided among the
team
players
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
equated to :
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
player
sharing a higher percentage of the overall budget. Which often leads the other
players
to
lower paying
Add a hyphen
lower-paying
show examples
opportunities.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
the moral rule of
sports
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and
team
spirit, as
combined
Add an article
the combined
a combined
show examples
contribution of every
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
player
makes the
sports
appalling and highly intriguing amongst the wide audience cheering for the
sports
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do agree that every
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a most-valuable
player
(MVP), which of course re-directs the
team
approach towards the
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
overall, but getting paid a lot of money as compared to the other
players
is completely unjust to every other
player
in the
team
breaking their sweat to make the
team
craftsmanship a priority.
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
fame
Correct article usage
the fame
show examples
of any
sports
player
can be biased as its highly subjected to the audience perceiving the
sports
, but paying opportunities should not vary drastically among the top and the other
players
.
Submitted by iswaah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: