IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

IS IT QUITE RIGHT THAT TOP SPORTS PEOPLE SHOULD BE PAID A LOT OF MONEY ? (TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE)

#right #sports #people #money
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I highly disagree with the statement mentioned above as authentic sportsmanship constitutes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
equal rights amongst all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sports people
Correct your spelling
sportspeople
show examples
. Equal rights here
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 denoted as equal paying opportunities. It is disheartening to my belief that top
players
Use synonyms
 are always paid a lot of money if compared to their peers, sometimes even more than
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 combined.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is very biased
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 the top
player
Use synonyms
 as every other
player
Use synonyms
 on the
team
Use synonyms
 contributes a very similar work ethic and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 towards the
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
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. Every
player
Use synonyms
 chosen to be performing the sport has been working hard
with
Change preposition
to
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 the best of their abilities and talent to be anticipated among the
sports
Use synonyms
team
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 scenario always
misbalance
Correct your spelling
misbalances
show examples
 the pay budget which is supposed to be divided among the
team
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
equated to :
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 sharing a higher percentage of the overall budget. Which often leads the other
players
Use synonyms
 to
lower paying
Add a hyphen
lower-paying
show examples
 opportunities.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the moral rule of
sports
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
Use synonyms
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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 and
team
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 spirit, as
combined
Add an article
the combined
a combined
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 contribution of every
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 makes the
sports
Use synonyms
 appalling and highly intriguing amongst the wide audience cheering for the
sports
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do agree that every
Use synonyms
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a most-valuable
player
Use synonyms
 (MVP), which of course re-directs the
team
Use synonyms
 approach towards the
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 overall, but getting paid a lot of money as compared to the other
players
Use synonyms
 is completely unjust to every other
player
Use synonyms
 in the
team
Use synonyms
 breaking their sweat to make the
team
Use synonyms
 craftsmanship a priority.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
fame
Correct article usage
the fame
show examples
 of any
sports
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
 can be biased as its highly subjected to the audience perceiving the
sports
Use synonyms
, but paying opportunities should not vary drastically among the top and the other
players
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by iswaah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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