Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

These days the majority of

children

prefer to spend their time playing video

games

rather than doing

sports

activities

such

as football or swimming . The reason behind

this

is they find it more interesting and enjoyable . In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I completely believe

this

development has a

lot

of drawbacks, and in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain why and I will draw my own conclusion.

First

of all , nowadays life has changed and a huge number of devices appeared

such

computer

games

and smartphones and more and more devices and a

lot

of kids have one or two of them. The reason behind

this

, every family now had a

computer

in their home and their kids use it to play with their friends anywhere in the world .

For example

, if it is the child moved to another country far away from his best friend he can continue to play his

computer

games

hence

, he can communicate with his friend forever.

This

is because

children

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

show examples

spend a

lot

of time on playing the

computer

On the other hand

children

who spend most of their time seating at their computers and not playing any

sports

in their daily routine will have a

lot

of drawbacks effects .

Firstly

, they can not have a relationship with other

children

For instance

, attending to

sports

club might help them to create a

lot

of friends who have the same interests .

Secondly

this

is could lead to

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

health problems. One example to prove

this

is that kids need to move and do some exercise to keep fit to help their mind to stay healthy. In conclusion, it is evident that

children

nowadays had an interest in playing video

games

more than playing

sports

. The family must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

phenomenon from deteriorating future .

Submitted by Noufalbahouth5 on Mon Nov 21 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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