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Band 5

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#countries #food #effects #families #individuals #society
In many countries, traditional
food
 is being replaced by international fast
food
 which lowers once the tradition. In a country like
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 children like to eat fast
food
 rather than
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
nutritious
food
.They avoid eating house-cooked
food
. The result
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 has many effects on families and society, the simple way for youngsters as well as elders gives them an attitude like
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 something out. It obviously creates many differences and leads to different problems.
This
 problem has been rose since the year fast
food
 has discovered. Fast
food
 can be eaten once a week which will not
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 our health and will maintain our weight. Not only
this
 it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 necessary to eat healthy
food
 which is cooked with hygiene in our kitchens as well. Junk foods will not give us proper vitamins and nutrition but will give us excessive fats in our body.
one
 should have a healthy lifestyle. As it has adverse effects on families it lesser the bond with them and not only that but
also
 influence another individual to eat because the items
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
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 tempting and
one
 could not stop from
having
Correct pronoun usage
themhaving
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. I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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 the fact that fast
food
 has taken place of traditional
food
 because it is very convenient for them to buy while returning home so that they do not pressurise themselves to cook.
One
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 eating healthy from outside will keep them healthy but the reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 has risen every year. They fall sick and often suffer from
food
 poisoning diarrhoea and other reasons as well.
This
 gives a negative impact on
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 we do not see what kind of products are they using, what if they are using all expire products and how hygienic they make. Even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
restaurants
Add a comma
,restaurants
show examples
 there is no hygiene they don't keep their surroundings clean. To overcome
this
 problem families and society should not encourage
such
 things and force
one
 to eat junk every day and make a routine of their lives.  The conclusion to
this
 is that
one
 should avoid eating outside rather
doing
Change preposition
than doing
show examples
this
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 should follow a healthy lifestyle
Submitted by kaiflohiya12 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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