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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some argue that patriotism is the primary cause of wars globally. Others feel that it serves to prevent less ethical politicians from running a country and starting wars. Nationalism could be a source of dofferent issues denationalisation

#argue #patriotism #wars #politicians #country #nationalism #source #dofferent #denationalisation
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Some
people
 proclaim that
nationalism
 is the main driver of wars around the world. Others believe it serves as a safeguard against less moral
politicians
 taking power and inciting conflict. It is agreed that
nationalism
this
 a political direction aimed at improving your
state
.
This
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter. On the one hand, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 nothing wrong
of
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with
show examples
 being
patriotic
Add an article
a patriotic
show examples
 person.
Such
people
 always concentrate on improving their
country
, and definitely not on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beginning wars, because they know that it will destroy their
country
 on
economic
Add an article
an economic
the economic
show examples
 and political
level
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levels
show examples
.
For instance
, Ukrainian president Vladimir Zelensky, who was an ordinary citizen living in his
country
 and working as an actor, became an excellent example of what should true patriots be like. He started his presidential campaign and received huge support from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. He
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
concentrated on strengthening the
state
 and improving life for Ukrainians and
Add a missing verb
had
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never
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
interested in others states.
On the other hand
 , some
politicians
 become so obsessed with
nationalism
 ideas
so
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they even could start wars in order to prove to everyone that their nation
are
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is
show examples
 the best one.
For instance
,
recent
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a recent
the recent
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 war that was started by
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Russia
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russia
Correct article usage
the russia
show examples
 federation could be a nice example of
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
 understanding of
nationalism
. It is proven by the fact , that one of the
condition
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conditions
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to
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for
show examples
 ending
war
Add an article
the war
show examples
 was denazification from
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Russia
show examples
russia
Correct article usage
the russia
show examples
 side. Attempts to destroy the Ukrainian nationality ,reasoned by their own security, invokes
feeling
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the feeling
a feeling
show examples
 that
Russia
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Russian
show examples
politicians
 become so obsessed with their own
country
so
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they decide that they can do whatever they want. It is a
really
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real
show examples
 live example of which consequence could cause by too patriotic
people
.
Furthermore
,
Russia
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Russian
show examples
 authorities done the biggest mistake that will destroy their
economic
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economy
show examples
 and their
state
 completely
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
contrary to the concept of
nationalism
. To summarise, patriotic
people
 should be interested only
improvement
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in improvement
show examples
 and definitely not in
destroying
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destruction
show examples
.
Therefore
, patriotic
people
 could positively
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
state
 but they shouldn’t forget about what true
nationalism
 is. After a thorough analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that all
politicians
 will use
conception
Add an article
the conception
show examples
 of
nationalism
 for powerful improvements in their countries and not for destroying others.
Submitted by ydotsenko97 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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