IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are different opinions about
climate
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change
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's negative and positive impacts on business.
While
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 some people, like me, believe that it causes dire consequences for business, others disagree. There are valid opinions on both sides which I will consider now. On the one hand, it is argued that
climate
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change
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 can create golden job opportunities for
tourism
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. As the temperature rises, some regions with cold weather can be attractive and desirable places for tourists, creating many occupational opportunities in hotels and
tourism
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 sectors.
For example
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,
due to
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 the hot weather in Asia, areas like the north of Europe and Canada hold so much appeal among tourists from Asia during summer, growing the
tourism
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 sector in these areas.
On the other hand
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,
climate
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change
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 has damaging consequences for the agriculture and fishing industries. In many parts of the world because of the rising temperature, crops are badly damaged, leading many farmers at the risk of bankrupt.
In addition
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,
climate
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change
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 in many parts of the world creates natural disasters like water scarcity and floods,
this
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 phenomenon influences the life of marine creatures like fish. If they lose their lives, companies that distribute fish for consumption lose their profit.
For example
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, in Iran because of the rising temperature up to 45 and water shortage, many people whose work related to agriculture go to bankruptcy. In conclusion, from my point of view,
although
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climate
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change
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 can grow
tourism
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 in some parts of the world, it has far more negative impacts on the food and agriculture sectors.

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task response
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is essential for a successful task response. However, try to elaborate a bit more on your points to give a more comprehensive discussion of each view.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing is generally clear and your main points are well supported with examples. Avoid repetition and ensure every idea adds value to your argument. Providing a bit more detail in each paragraph could help in fully convincing the reader.
logical structure
You have a good structure with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Increasing the length of some paragraphs could provide more room for detailed explanation and create a stronger argument overall.
introduction conclusion present
You have successfully included both an introduction and a conclusion, giving your essay a strong foundation.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided, such as the impact of climate change on tourism in Europe and agriculture in Iran, help to illustrate your points clearly.
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