IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

There should be laws to control the amount and the type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#laws #control #amount #type #violence #television #programs
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the amount and type of violence displayed on television programs should be ruled by the law, but I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to watch what they want. Everybody
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 their time on television
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
what they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 like not
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
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 do not enjoy. Since there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 numerous
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of channels,
people
Use synonyms
 definitely find what they like.
Therefore
Linking Words
, what is the point of watching and spending their precious time on
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 they dislike
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact on children.
However
Linking Words
, programs which are included violence have an age restriction. So it is their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 role to control it.
In addition
Linking Words
,
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 we try to hide it from young
people
Use synonyms
, the more crime will occur.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should teach them
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 impact and how to prevent
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 age.
Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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