IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on such music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #focus #services #music
It is believed that Government must invest in services for people
instead
 of spending money on Art
such
 as painting and songs. I completely agree with
this
 statement, the impending essay will discuss the same with a logical conclusion. There are multiple reasons why the government should invest in making parks for folk because a vast majority of people need an environment to relax and spend significant time with their near ones
this
 may contribute them to walking or implementing physical activities ,especially on weekends while paying a huge amount of money for painting will be wasting of revenue because it will be useless since no one care about it.
Additionally
, nation around the world can improve their public transportation causing a significant facility for commuting to the workplace for individuals.
As a result
, the community will benefit from it, and they may not finance private vehicles.
For instance
, due to the lack of buses and trains in Toronto, Canada every employee pays 555$ just for monthly payments for their private cars.
Furthermore
, constructing new libraries will encourage societies to read books which in turn leads to a significant increase in the academic knowledge of individuals. As a consequence, the number of professors will increase dramatically. while supporting singers by governments is beneficial for some specific areas. in conclusion, It is true that public services should promote by the government compared to Arts
such
 as songs and paintings.
this
 essay agrees with
this
 statement as building green areas for society alongside improving public transport and building new learning environments for the community will be the best reasons for it.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: