Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sports

provide a wide range of benefits to children. They can develop enormous skills from sportsmanship. It is thought by some public that game teaches juvenile about competitiveness,

whereas

others say that it helps to learn to work as a

team

. In

this

essay, we will discuss both views and share my

opine

Correct your spelling

opinion

show examples

To begin

with, some people believe that youngsters can learn competitiveness by participating in

sports

This

would certainly boost them to face opponents who are more experienced than them. In fact, they must really have the satisfaction of being competitive even though they lost the match against

such

team

For example

, if the pupils are participating in a sport where they have to face a strong

team

in the tournament and Even if they are unable to beat the opposite

team

by fighting till the end.

As a result

, children can learn from their mistakes and

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to improve.

Moreover

this

would surely provide the kids to face the obstacles in their lives. On the other side, there are some folks who think that

this

can help the students to work as a unit.

For instance

, in Thailand, sportsmen from all over the nation participated in

sports

events. Players from diverse backgrounds are brought and allowed to spend together as a family or mates through difficult times.

Consequently

, playing

sports

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

to some positive personalities, especially kind-hearted, which are the major traits of teamwork.

Furthermore

this

really helps young ones to become mature people. In conclusion,

sports

not only lead children to be competitive, but it is

allowing

Wrong verb form

allows

show examples

teenagers to work as a group in every atmosphere. In my opinion,

this

will definitely provide the ability to become mature people in their lives.

Submitted by crvenkatesh1904 on Tue Nov 22 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supports the overall argument effectively.

task response

The essay provides a partial response to the task. It is important to clearly address both views according to the prompt and provide a clear opinion with supporting arguments.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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