In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

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Children are told in some cultures that if they try hard, they can achieve anything.

This

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message has the advantage that youngsters become confident.

However

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, juveniles

waste

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their

time

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on things that are not easy to gain. I will discuss

this

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view in forthcoming paragraphs. On the positive side, everyone can achieve anything, especially youngsters because when they fail to gain something, they try hard and do it again and again till they get

success

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. So,

this

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kind of hard

work

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increases student's confidence.

For example

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, when students get low marks in their exams. They try hard in the next exams to get higher scores, if they fail again, they try again as they are told to do hard

work

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. So, they do not give up and one day they achieve their desired marks.

Furthermore

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, learners become more confident to do things better.

Hence

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, achieving something by doing hard

work

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not only gives confidence but

also

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satisfaction, which is very crucial for people. Moving towards the negative side, some tasks are quite tough to do for everyone. So, learners who think they will do it by trying again and again, still fail to get

success

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. They just

waste

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their

time

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and energy.

Additionally

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, they have

a lot of

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

a lot of other things to do, but just because they are told by their elders that trying hard can help you to get anything, they ruin everything

such

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time

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focus and patience. To exemplify, 65% of students make a lot of effort to achieve

success

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. But, when they fail, they try again and they make many attempts and

waste

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their

time

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, at the same

time

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other youngsters who fail one or two times,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

change their minds and move towards another

work

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and achieve

success

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without wasting their

time

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To sum up

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, trying again and doing hard

work

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is a good message for learners as they become confident.

However

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time

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is another form of wealth, if they

waste

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their

time

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then

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they not only lose their interest but

also

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energy. So.

this

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disadvantage cannot be neglected.

satnamkalsi06Sat Dec 07 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each main point is fully developed with supporting details or examples. You touched on points well, but some ideas could be more fully explored to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clearer logical structure to guide the reader through your essay. The transitions between paragraphs could be more seamless to enhance the overall flow.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive language and phrases to reduce redundancy in your writing.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children, providing a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the effort students put into exams, illustrate your points effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.