In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?
Children are told in some cultures that if they try hard, they can achieve anything.
This
message has the advantage that youngsters become confident. However
, juveniles waste
their time
on things that are not easy to gain. I will discuss this
view in forthcoming paragraphs.
On the positive side, everyone can achieve anything, especially youngsters because when they fail to gain something, they try hard and do it again and again till they get success
. So, this
kind of hard work
increases student's confidence. For example
, when students get low marks in their exams. They try hard in the next exams to get higher scores, if they fail again, they try again as they are told to do hard work
. So, they do not give up and one day they achieve their desired marks. Furthermore
, learners become more confident to do things better. Hence
, achieving something by doing hard work
not only gives confidence but also
satisfaction, which is very crucial for people.
Moving towards the negative side, some tasks are quite tough to do for everyone. So, learners who think they will do it by trying again and again, still fail to get success
. They just waste
their time
and energy. Additionally
, they have a lot of
a lot of other things to do, but just because they are told by their elders that trying hard can help you to get anything, they ruin everything Fix the agreement mistake
apply
such
as time
focus and patience. To exemplify, 65% of students make a lot of effort to achieve success
. But, when they fail, they try again and they make many attempts and waste
their time
, at the same time
other youngsters who fail one or two times, they
change their minds and move towards another Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
and achieve success
without wasting their time
.
To sum up
, trying again and doing hard work
is a good message for learners as they become confident. However
, time
is another form of wealth, if they waste
their time
, then
they not only lose their interest but also
energy. So. this
disadvantage cannot be neglected.Submitted by satnamkalsi06 on
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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with supporting details or examples. You touched on points well, but some ideas could be more fully explored to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clearer logical structure to guide the reader through your essay. The transitions between paragraphs could be more seamless to enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive language and phrases to reduce redundancy in your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the effort students put into exams, illustrate your points effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...