In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world #development

Increasingly, lives have been suffering globalization's impact,and cities around the world have become more and more similar to each other. Actually,decades ago the population

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to travel abroad

for learning

Change preposition

to learn

show examples

about new cultures,

while

nowadays usually use technology to look for different habits.In my opinion,

this

is important for society and would like to discuss both sides in

this

essay.

Firstly

, around the globe, there are many inequality improvements and states

such

as the USA , Canada,Australia, and some European nations provide a life quality for their citizens compared to others.

For instance

, I have been to South

Africa

some years ago and , there I visited South

Africa

and neighbouring countries and it has visible inequality.In fact, in South ,

Africa

I have dream experiences

such

as visiting Viner

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and enjoying wonderful restaurants, and viewpoints,

while

in others I only saw poverty, hunger and misery.

In addition

, South

Africa

has been built by immigrants from Europe, Australia and the USA.So, I support globalism only to provide equality for all societies.

secondly

, in Brazil exists mixed cultures with people from Argentina,

Africa

, Europe, and many

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

places,

however

, we maintain our originality and those who decided to live here are contaminated with happiness and good moods. Obviously, companies worldwide

make

Verb problem

show examples

business with us and several imported products are commercialized in Brazil, to add,

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

devices from Apple ,Microsoft, and so

Rephrase

on.

show examples

Indeed the open market could help the economy and personal

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

moreover

provide countries look alike.

For example

, the USA and Brazil have some companies

such

as Amazon,Disney , and so on. In ,conclusion globalization is vital for society and authorities from all countries must open their market for products and entrepreneurs abroad, so the economy and personal development will boost more and more.Throughout, global leaders have the responsibility of creating rules and keeping their originality.

Submitted by nas.alsadi on Tue Nov 22 2022

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task response

Pay attention to presenting a clear position that directly addresses the task question.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout each paragraph, and use appropriate linking devices to connect ideas.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. Discus both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should provide financial support to artists, such as painters and musicians, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health Others believe that governments should make sure that citizen is healthy. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.