The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The way of
communication
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has changed
due to
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the
Internet
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. Nowadays most conversation happens via the social web. Some
people
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maintain
this
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and consider it as a positive improvement.
However
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, others suggest that social
media
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has a negative impact.
This
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essay will discuss both sights and will provide its own statement. On the one hand,
communication
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through the
Internet
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can provide
people
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with positive development. Because, during an online chat,
people
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learn,
firstly
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, how to
use
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social websites, like Instagram or Facebook, and
also
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they can learn how to understand others without seeing
people
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's faces.
For example
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, my friend has communicated with his
Internet
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mate for about 3 years and they haven't seen each other. But now,
due to
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this
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experience, he can predict a mood or a state of chatter by looking at the way his chatter writes.
Moreover
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,
communication
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through the
media
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provides different nations an opportunity to exchange information with each other. As an example, they can exchange some cultural customs and traditions or some national cuisines. Since chats on the
Internet
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are free, they can be used any time
humans
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want.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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can be dangerous for the
population
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, especially for children, and can carry negative effects.
Due to
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the development of the
Internet
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, it become more popular and more
humans
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have started to
use
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it.
However
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, some
Internet
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frauds and fishers
also
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start to spread among different websites.
Furthermore
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, all
people
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who
use
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social
media
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are vulnerable to them.
Hence
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frauds can call
humans
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, message them and
also
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pretend someone else, like a relative or a friend, for money or for private information (ID). So the
population
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become a target for them.
For instance
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, during the survey in Kazakhstan, it was shown that about 80% of children became victims of
fraud'
Change noun form
fraud
show examples
actions and,
overall
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, they sent to frauds100000$.
Thus
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, the
Internet
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can be a dangerous place for the
population
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. In conclusion, the
Internet
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provides a new way of chatting and more
people
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begin to
use
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it. Some
people
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suggest that it is a useful development for
humans
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, like exchanging information or better understanding of
people
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.
However
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, others claim that social
media
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has negative effects, like danger,
due to
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the threat of fraud. In my opinion,
communication
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via social
media
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is useful. Because the
population
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become more informative and more tolerant toward other nationalities

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states the topic, you could enhance it by making your stance clearer right from the start. This would help guide the reader more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of your essay is generally good, but consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the transitions between your ideas. Phrases such as 'moreover', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' can help in providing a clearer connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly define some terms, like 'social media' and 'communication,' to ensure that your audience fully understands your discussion. This would contribute to clarity in your ideas.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas with examples or explanations that directly support your main points. While you provide some examples, including more elaborated reasoning would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively identified both views regarding social media communication and provided adequate discussion of each perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, as you have addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • data privacy
  • data breaches
  • mental health issues
  • excessive use
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • feelings of loneliness
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • public misinformation
  • societal harm
  • shared interests
  • engaged
  • foster communities
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