Consumption of the world's resources (such as oil, fresh water, etc) is increasing at a dangerously fast rate. What are the causes of this increased consumption? What can people do to reduce it?

#consumption #world #resources #oil #water #rate #people

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In today's

world

, the

consumption

of raw materials has increased in the

last

decades. There are numerous reasons behind

this

consumption

, and there are

also

remedies to handle

this

huge usage.

This

essay will address these reasons and corresponding solutions. The most common cause is the

industrial revolution

Correct your spelling

Industrial Revolution

show examples

across the

world

. In light of

this

fact, there is extreme

consumption

of the earth's

resources

. Specifically, most developing countries engage in fierce competition to gain massive

profit

Fix the agreement mistake

profits

show examples

This

is exactly what is happening currently in the USA and China.

Furthermore

as a result

of climate change and global warming, the existence of

resources

has become significantly less compared with the

last

30 years. Especially the source of fresh water.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unplanned

consumption

will adversely affect the whole

world

As a result

of the above-mentioned causes of

this

problem, there are various solutions that can be implemented to tackle

such

a matter. Some people suggest that governments should regulate policies to restrict the compulsive use of

resources

This

idea has started to be implemented in some countries

such

as Japan and Malaysia.

In addition

, their second recommended solution to

this

issue is to enhance the nations' awareness about the importance of natural

resources

and the hazards of using them without any consideration. In conclusion, the severe

consumption

of the

world

resources

is a result of many reasons, the major one being the current industrial revolution.

In contrast

, a number of solutions can be taken by governments and communities to handle

this

issue.

Submitted by aisha_zain on Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and that this idea is clearly stated.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific laws or initiatives can help support the causes and solutions mentioned.

task achievement

Avoid vague terms such as 'numerous reasons' or 'various solutions'. Be specific about the points you are making.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The arguments presented are relevant to the topic.

task achievement

The solutions suggested, such as government regulations and increasing public awareness, are practical and feasible.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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