Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology

Number

Change the article

A number

The number

show examples

of people

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that current

technology

is making society more communicative, whereas others advocate that advanced

technology

is making them less outgoing. I personally agree with

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

statement, since modern

technology

can damage our mentality and make us lazy. Nowadays, there are

multitade

Correct your spelling

multitude

multitudes

technologies

in the whole world, which

produced

Add a missing verb

are produced

show examples

every day. The progress of all mankind depends on

technology

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because people constantly want to improve their lives.

Thus

, appeared a lot of useful

technologies

, which make our lives more

Correct your spelling

convenient

convinient

Correct your spelling

convenient

For instance

, ancient humans couldn't even imagine that in the future appeared airplanes. Archaeologists found ancient writings that described the plane as a flying carpet.

They

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

thoughts it is

Correct your spelling

impossible

imposible

Correct your spelling

impossible

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

until

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

makes

such

progress.

Also

Correct your spelling

nobody

nobodoy

Correct your spelling

nobody

couldn't imagine that it will be

technologies

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

a computer or

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

. At the moment these gadgets

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the most popular

technologies

in the world. We can communicate, share and browse pages on social networks and we have a picture that we’re social.

However

, these latest

technologies

make us less sociable and we become lazy. Advanced

technologies

cause dependence on them, since they are convenient for us and give us pleasure.

For example

, when we use the phone and sit in apps we like we get a dose of dopamine.

This

dose of dopamine

too

Add a missing verb

is too

show examples

big for us, so we don’t want to talk to someone in real life.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

we can't do something,

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

we really need,

thus

we become lazy. To conclude, modern

technology

is bad for our sociability and our condition. While

technology

has many advantages, it makes us less dependent.

Submitted by Allazhar on Tue Nov 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, -explain your situation -describe your problems -tell him/her when you think you can move in
The reason why, I am writing this letter is I am going to move into a rented apartment next month, but there are some problems with me.
4.5
band
Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a statement that schools are not crucial life requirement anymore, because Internet provides a huge information, so they can just learn everything at home pretty well. I strongly disagree with this statement, because education is the main priority for everyone and through schools, we are able to obtain a wider range opportunities non and academic abilities.
7.5
band
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.
In this age of technology, meal preparation has been getting more convenient with modern tools. In my opinion, the advantages of these alternative methods far outweigh the disadvantages in equal measure, and I will give my reasons below.
7
band
today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
There is a widespread issue among citizens of never meeting their next-door acquaintances. The writer contends the shortage of a sense of community and the feeling of isolation as the consequences and can be tackled by increasing communal activities and regular house visits.
4.5
band
Child abuse on the internet has increased dramatically. What steps are available for individual and the government to stop it? Present your problems to stop the child abuse.
The Internet has become an imperative part of everyone's life. Nowadays heir has more access to the internet as they utilized more time on social media. Frauds and scams are increasing rapidly every day. But there are many ways to tackle this issue.

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, -explain your situation -describe your problems -tell him/her when you think you can move in

Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.

today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Child abuse on the internet has increased dramatically. What steps are available for individual and the government to stop it? Present your problems to stop the child abuse.