Many people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences in earning between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a belief that ensuring a similar salary among
people
of all classes would result in societal happiness. In contrast
, this
writer thinks that the adoption of the practice would make people
reluctant to achieve higher education and will cause dissatisfaction in the community.
In the first place, the reason why individuals reach for higher achievements and greatness is due to
the fact that they want to pursue a better life. What is more, many residents with poorer backgrounds gain immense ambition to alter the living conditions that they currently have. During the process, society gains an enormous amount of benefit by having individuals with this
kind of determination, leading to innovation and growth. Conversely
, when there is no difference in payment, the goal simply vanishes as well as
the great mindset. The education system of Vietnam bears a similarity, in which students would be classified in a specific rank that would benefit the child in their future job hunting.
Another aspect to think about the proposal is the reaction of the rich, those people
would go against the idea because of its favoritism
. The success and money of Change the spelling
favouritism
higher
class does not occur suddenly, but rather it is the hardship that was endured Correct article usage
the higher
finally
leading to the sweet result. While
the rich person put in a fair amount of effort in order to achieve respect and high
salary, now others without any adequate quality could Correct article usage
a high
also
enjoy the same privilege. This
could result in worse performance at work and raise opposing forces against the authority which can be observed through multiple protests the French people
have.
Taking all points into consideration, it is clear that
ensuring little differences does more harm than good to the society's harmony. With that, this
essay disagrees with the proposal because of reduction
in innovative mindset and possible Correct article usage
a reduction
arising
insurgency activities.Correct your spelling
rising
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coherence
A more explicit restatement of your position in the conclusion would strengthen your essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your claims, making them more persuasive.
coherence
Work on varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and flow.
coherence
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided a clear stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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