New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

First

and foremost, technological development resulted in a decrease

Change preposition

show examples

the time

children

spend outdoors. These days it has become noticeable that youngsters prefer online entertainment rather than open-air activities. It was approved that

gadgets

are extremely addictive, especially for younger people.

Consequently

, a sedentary lifestyle may lead to obesity and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of social skills. As well as there is a lot of sensitive content, that can have a

bed

Correct your spelling

bad

show examples

impact on

children

's emotional health.

Furthermore

, it became challenging to control young people's actions online. Due to statistics,

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

psychological impact

from

Change preposition

show examples

gadgets

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

's unstable mental health increases every year.

On the other hand

, technology enables a lot of educational opportunities.

For instance

, with a usual

smartphone

Add a comma

,smartphone

show examples

it is easy to find any information

Change preposition

with

show examples

only one click. As well as, books are available online, so every person can download

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

and read

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

in their free time.

Big

Change the article

A big

The big

show examples

number of developing and educational material is available online. With the right use of

gadgets

children

can develop themselves and gain new knowledge. In conclusion, the lifestyle of modern

children

is changing with new technologies. Even though it has certain positive impacts for the new generation, it can create negative consequences with unsupervised overuse of

gadgets

. So,

children

should use new technologies with caution and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not forget about outdoor activities and socializing with people in person.

Submitted by anya.shihytsk on Tue Nov 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

advantages
disadvantages
new technologies
children
free time
access
educational resources
information
development
key skills
enhancing
creativity
imagination
opportunity
connect
convenience
flexibility
lack
physical activity
potential
health issues
impact
social
emotional development
exposure
inappropriate content
addiction
dependency

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The main reason they are moving is because they will get more opportunities ahead if they try to work or study in cities. Many big companies are searching for the best talent nowdays and they also prefer graduates from reputable universities or experienced worker in the same field. One of the company's decision is the place the staff will stay, the closer to the city, the better and bigger chance they will accept.
7
band
some people believe that in a city,the best way to travel is by car,while other people argue that bicycle are a better way of travelling in city. discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the ultra-modern epoch, traffic is surging day by day. However, it is an argued issue whether the masses are using a car for commuting in a megapolitan city is the best way or bikes. Even though with the help of a vehicle we can reach our destination in a minimum time duration, I believe that a bicycle is the best approach to commuting in the city.
<4
band
Crime rates in most countries is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What do you think? What can be done to reduce crime rate?
It Is universally recognised that the crime rate has been escalating at an alarming rate all over the world in the past few years . People can commit crimes due to numerous reasons such as poverty , lack of education , food crisis and many more . In the midst of change, it is worth noticing that the crime rate is increasing in metropolitan areas rather than rural areas . The assertion seems pretty controversial across the globe . In the succeeding monograph , the main agenda is not only to delve into the matter as well as address some possible remedies to curb this menace
6.5
band
Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Disscus both views and give your own opinion.
Opinions are divided into whether students who study in universities should learn about different subjects besides their main subjects, or just concentrate on their qualification. I believe that it is beneficial for students to learn about other fields, too.
6
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they could not fit into their peers’ group and have no one to look after them when they get old.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people believe that in a city,the best way to travel is by car,while other people argue that bicycle are a better way of travelling in city. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Crime rates in most countries is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What do you think? What can be done to reduce crime rate?

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Disscus both views and give your own opinion.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.