New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

First
and foremost, technological development resulted in a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the time
children
spend outdoors. These days it has become noticeable that youngsters prefer online entertainment rather than open-air activities. It was approved that
gadgets
are extremely addictive, especially for younger people.
Consequently
, a sedentary lifestyle may lead to obesity and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of social skills. As well as there is a lot of sensitive content, that can have a
bed
Correct your spelling
bad
show examples
impact on
children
's emotional health.
Furthermore
, it became challenging to control young people's actions online. Due to statistics,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
psychological impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
gadgets
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
's unstable mental health increases every year.
On the other hand
, technology enables a lot of educational opportunities.
For instance
, with a usual
smartphone
Add a comma
,smartphone
show examples
it is easy to find any information
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
only one click. As well as, books are available online, so every person can download
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in their free time.
Big
Change the article
A big
The big
show examples
number of developing and educational material is available online. With the right use of
gadgets
,
children
can develop themselves and gain new knowledge. In conclusion, the lifestyle of modern
children
is changing with new technologies. Even though it has certain positive impacts for the new generation, it can create negative consequences with unsupervised overuse of
gadgets
. So,
children
should use new technologies with caution and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not forget about outdoor activities and socializing with people in person.
Submitted by anya.shihytsk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: