many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boyd and girs in schools. others disagree and believe it is a waste of schoo time. to what extent do you agree?

In today’s world of conflict,
agreed
Replace the word
agreement
show examples
and constant struggles for power there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
proportion of millennials who take the view that just acquiring academic skills won’t be enough for
this
modern lifestyle and learning how to cook dishes will be needed to meet
Add an article
the expectation
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
. On the
flipside
Correct your spelling
flip side
show examples
, there are fierce opponents to
this
outlook who argue that a flaw in
this
argument is that it does not take into consideration the value of time. I readily disagree with
this
standpoint.
To begin
with, childhood obesity is reaching epidemic levels, owing to the fact that juvenile’s awareness about food value
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not increased. It is proven that facts which have been taught in schools tremendously affect offspring’s future life.
Thus
if they have learned from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age which meals are nutritious and which
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
of them
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
just fattening and greasy, not only can they follow
Correct article usage
a health-related-diet
show examples
health-related-diet
Correct your spelling
health-related diet
show examples
, but they
also
can avoid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being exposed
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
various diseases. By the way of illustration, nowadays, pupils should be stayed alert to the influence fast foods have on their health by their teachers.
On the other hand
, we are witnessing that
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
highly engaged in passive hobbies and
this
sedentary lifestyle exerts
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on their both mental and physical health.
Furthermore
, it seems that they are not permitted
release
Fix the infinitive
to release
show examples
their energy. So, devoting time to
such
courses paves the way for being active and
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
them to join in physical
actively
Replace the word
activities
show examples
that, not only do mitigate their stress
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
broaden their horizon.
For instance
, when I was a primary school student I
must
Correct your spelling
just
show examples
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
part in an extra curriculum which prompted us to
made
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
ethnic dishes. Never can you envisage how effective those courses
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
, not only did we gain
worth
Replace the word
worthwhile
show examples
experience and gradually, we obtained a rudimentary knowledge of different meals, but
also
broaden
cross cultural
Add a hyphen
cross-cultural
show examples
understanding because we were
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
to cook
Change the verb form
cooking
show examples
other indigenous dishes of our country. Another overt advantage is that we learn how to act in teamwork
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
. In conclusion, dedicating more time to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
courses should be given priority by
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
authorities.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
boys as well as girls should be engorged to participate, the reason why is that these experiences are valuable whether for
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
or boys and both of whom can charge their battery through these classes.
Submitted by hediefaskhoodi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: