In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries, people believe that spending
money
to build new trains is important,
while
others think that the existing
railway
needs to spend
money
for improvement.
Although
improving the already existing
transportation
may bring some
benefits
, I strongly believe that expanding the
transportation
hub through fast trains is more necessary. Regarding
this
, developing new
railway
lines can significantly boost economic development. Connecting two cities with a
railway
line plays a crucial role in creating a hub that attracts numerous individuals, including businesspeople and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
According to
recent research by McKinsey & Company, the economic
benefits
increased by 130% after the construction of a new
railway
line between Osaka and Tokyo in Japan.
This
example underscores how new
railway
lines not only enhance connectivity but
also
significantly contribute to economic growth and development.
On the other hand
, investing
money
to enhance existing public
transportation
enables individuals to ameliorate stress. Fixing defects made people more comfortable during
transportation
, contributing to alleviating stress.
For example
, if New York City improved the city’s subway, individuals who live in or are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
would not have to worry about defective
transportation
.
As a result
, spending
money
to enhance existing public transport. In my opinion, expansion rather than mere improvement should be the main priority. Increased passenger numbers can lead to economic
benefits
, thereby significantly raising the value of
transportation
.
Furthermore
,
this
will bring high revenue for the governments. In conclusion,
while
improved trains allow many people to enjoy convenience, I believe that new fast railways are more significant, as economic
benefits
should be prioritized.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure all your points directly support your main argument; ensure even coverage of both viewpoints before stating your own.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
task response
Always ensure your examples are directly relevant to the point you're making; this strengthens your arguments and makes them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing your argument.
task response
You successfully included relevant examples to support your main points, which adds credibility to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: