Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that
news
Use synonyms
is a vital part of our daily life,
however
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that newspapers and watching television programs are not connected with
people
Use synonyms
and it is a waste of time. I completely disagree with the above notion, following subsequent paragraphs will elaborate on my answer. To commence with, there are many
people
Use synonyms
around the
world
Use synonyms
who watch the
news
Use synonyms
and read newspapers as their daily habit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
people
Use synonyms
need to know what is happening around them. To illustrate, it is not only one country’s
news
Use synonyms
as the
world
Use synonyms
is connected
people
Use synonyms
watch and read the
news
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
spread globally. As an example, individuals got to know about the Covid 19 disease because they were watching television, if
people
Use synonyms
ignore
Wrong verb form
ignored
show examples
the media articles still they would be suffering from the outbreak.
Hence
Linking Words
, newscast in both ways has a connection to
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
as it provides daily information around the
world
Use synonyms
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
keeps humans updated.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many opportunities for younger children and other businessmen because the information which is spread through
news
Use synonyms
articles improves the knowledge of children and adults which is important for their future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, business managers and owners get to know the status of the economy through the press and different programs. To exemplify, in Sri
Lanka
Add a comma
Lanka,
show examples
almost every student
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
to know about their starting and
last
Linking Words
day of school from the
news
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children develop their knowledge skills regarding their education and business
people
Use synonyms
always stay alert to the economic changes around the
world
Use synonyms
since they affect them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I completely disagree that
people
Use synonyms
have no connection to
news
Use synonyms
, because without the proper information delivered through programs and papers
people
Use synonyms
will never get updated about the
world
Use synonyms
and children’s knowledge will be at a lower level about common sense.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: The essay presents a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples. However, the development of ideas could be more focused on the specific question prompt to achieve a higher score.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with an introduction and conclusion. The progression of ideas is fairly cohesive but could benefit from more consistent and explicit transitions between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Informed
  • Current events
  • Public awareness
  • Local news
  • Global issues
  • Sensationalism
  • Misinformation
  • Bias
  • Community
  • Public safety
  • Health advisories
  • Market trends
  • Traffic updates
  • Weather forecasts
  • Educate
  • Raise awareness
  • Opinion formation
  • Decision making
What to do next:
Look at other essays: