IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International tourism has brought enormous to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

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In contemporary society, foreign tourists play an important role in the countries
such
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 as the increase in an economic system, income of the nations, and knowledge of culture and language.
However
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, there is an impact which allows people to be concerned about their local inhabitants and the environment.
This
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 essay will examine the side of the negative effects that outweigh the positive ways, and my opinion will be provided.
To begin
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 with, advocates of
this
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 proposition believe that there are many disadvantages to international travellers. It is obvious that international transportation can damage the environment by using vehicles
such
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 as aeroplanes or ships, which generate air pollution.
For example
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,
according to
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 reports, there is a dramatic growth in the amount of pollution because there are many people who use aircraft in order to visit other regions.
Moreover
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, the more visitors, the more garbage in many places. To elaborate, there is a lot of garbage which is thrown in rivers or seas causing problems in marine ecosystems.
On the other hand
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, despite many drawbacks of foreign visitors, there are a number of beneficial aspects that cannot be ignored. There is no denying that people who come from other countries can generate a lot of income which raises an economic system to be better.
For instance
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, if the nations have many funds, the authorities can spend money to improve and develop their provinces. In conclusion, there are a number of places that receive benefits from tourism meanwhile some citizens are concerned about its impact on the environment and their residences. In my view, these negative long-term effects greatly outweigh the short-term advantages that can bring to our everyday lives.

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supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are supported by specific examples or evidence. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with concrete information.
complete response
To improve the completeness of your response, make sure to address all parts of the question. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of international tourism equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by expanding on them and explaining how they directly relate to the question asked. Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to convey your points comprehensively.
relevant specific examples
Enhance your essay by providing more specific examples that are directly relevant to the arguments being made. These examples should illustrate your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, but to enhance it, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your thesis, while your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
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