Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
think that the
Correct your spelling
common
commonn
Correct your spelling
common
way to solve crime
phenomenons
Replace the word
phenomena
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
most countries is
turn
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to turn
turning
show examples
the trouble makers to jail while others believe
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a better
education
for the public
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
effective solution.
In my
Change preposition
My
show examples
opinion, I agree that great
education
is the right answer rather than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison.
Further
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,Further
show examples
explain
Replace the word
explanations
show examples
related to
this
matter will
be examine
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be examined
show examples
in
this
essay.
First
of all, the quality of the
education
in the country is one of the most essential
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
to
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
how good one country is. The
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better
education
that provides, the smarter society will become.
Moreover
, formal
education
already teach since early childhood. It is supposed to be an easy way to create personality when the right lessons learned
has
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have
show examples
been taught at early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
For example
, since kindergarten, children taught that
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
something
that is
not
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
to them without permission is not the right thing to do. When
this
lesson
Correct your spelling
continuously
Add a missing verb
is continously
show examples
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
taught to them, an honest person will be created as the result. Another reason, to build a prison, there must be
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
quantity of how many
people
will fit
into
Correct pronoun usage
itinto
show examples
.
This
may create a new problem when
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
great value of
education
had not
been become
Change to the active voice
become
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
fundamental for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Furthermore
,
people
may not feel
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
burden
Wrong verb form
burdened
show examples
when they get into jail for what they do, because even in the prison, they may treat better compare to how outside
people
treat them.
For instance
, when someone
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives in a slum, they may do bad things to make them get into jail because they do not need to go to work for food or bed. To conclude, good
education
must be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fundamental
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
a country because better
education
will
also
create better
people
than
to provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
something as a punishment.
Submitted by aulia.putri2298 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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