Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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Most
people
working in the same
company
makes them more comfortable than changing their
jobs
frequently;
however
, to state that staying loyal to one
company
all their life is the only right way to do, I personally disagree with that since changing workplaces
also
has some benefits. More than half of
people
in society choose to stay in the same
company
for a long time,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
are still in the same one since the beginning of their career; especially
people
in the older generation and they constantly pass down
this
belief.
This
belief is factually from the
company
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
does not want the employee to leave because they have already spent a large amount of salary for a person to learn and master their
jobs
. To keep well-trained workers in the firm they will compensate workers with extra salaries which will increase each year of staying.
Nevertheless
, changing
jobs
nowadays can raise the salary up to many times; there is a lot of sharing
that is
what they often do to get ahead in their
jobs
and find new experiences because switching
jobs
, for a new enterprise means, they will get the experienced employees, the connection to customers, and some insights from other firm.
Therefore
, the new
company
will offer
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
amount of money to
drew
Change the form of the verb
draw
show examples
those
people
. In conclusion, staying in the same firm for a long time could definitely increase your salary;
however
, the raise amount will be
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
than job-hopping.
Hence
I personally believe that changing
jobs
would be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable because
people
will not get bored and receive more compensation
according to
their potential.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to balance both views in your essay before providing your own opinion. When discussing the opposite view, consider expanding more on its benefits or reasons why some might prefer working for different organisations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using linking words or phrases such as 'nevertheless,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion' help improve the flow of your essay. Consider introducing more variety in these to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
To provide more depth to your arguments, consider incorporating more specific examples or data to support your points effectively.
Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is fully developed. Sometimes, more detailed explanation or an additional example could improve clarity and impact.
Task Achievement
Provided a clear introduction and conclusion that presented your personal opinion effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical structure throughout the essay, aiding the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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