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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today´s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a dispute about the significance of subjects that are being taught in the school, some individuals are of the opinion that STEM is more relevant than
history
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 in present times.
while
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 others boast that learning about
history
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 is
also
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 crucial. I believe every subject is important and it depends on the student to make a choice.
To begin
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 with, science and technology subjects, people feel it is more important because
,
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apply
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this
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 can be practised in day to day life, these are the ones that will prepare one for the challenges in their career and help guide them to future endeavours.
For example
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, the understanding of
the
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nature is very important if an individual is trying to be an Environmentalist.
Furthermore
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, the competition is very high and the variety of technology is increasing every day, and the only way to keep up is to learn them at a young age.
However
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,
history
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 holds a significant presence and should be given equal importance, children should have
the
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knowledge about their ancestors and how their nation was in the past. To add to
this
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,
history
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 sometimes repeats itself, so there are chances that an event can occur and we can be prepared for it.
For example
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, pandemics can bring every nation to a halt, but if we already
went
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gone
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 through one pandemic,
then
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 only we can be prepared for another.
To conclude
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, both science and
history
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 are equally important subjects, both help develop the mind of the student and can help prepare them for the future.

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task achievement
Expand on the arguments for each viewpoint to present a more comprehensive discussion. For example, delve deeper into how history can shape cultural understanding or how technology drives economic growth.
task achievement
Ensure a more balanced and nuanced exploration of your opinion. Provide more detailed support for why you feel both subjects are equally important for students.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance the logical flow between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion well.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge multiple perspectives, which enriches the essay’s depth.
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