Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

#child #trip #country #school #parents #head #team #queries

Dear Mrs. Smith, I am Tanya Jackson mother of Mia Jackson from 3rd grade. I am writing to ask you about the upcoming 3-day

trip

to another country that the school has planned to take the children on. I am really interested in joining the

trip

as I can be really helpful on the

trip

. The main reason I would love to accompany the group is because I am well acquainted with most of Mia's friends and their parents, so having a familiar face on board will surely make it more relaxed for the children and their parents.

Furthermore

, I was part of a school activity club previously and I am well experienced in handling a group of enthusiastic young children which can immensely help the teachers.

Besides

, I travel a lot with my elder child so I am well aware and experienced of all the situations that we might come up with on a

trip

. If you agree for me to join, I would like to ask a few questions,

firstly

, are the dates of the

trip

fixed if yes I would like to know, please, as I need to apply for leave at my workplace,

also

if you have locked the plan for the

trip

please do share it with me as I can plan for some fun activities

accordingly

. I look forward to a positive reply. Yours Sincerely, Tanya Jackson.

Submitted by rathan6886 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured and logically progresses through each of the required points. However, ensuring absolute clarity in expressing why you want to join might enhance comprehension.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down lengthy paragraphs into shorter ones to ensure each point stands out clearly, aiding readability.

task achievement

Double-check for minor grammatical and punctuation errors to enhance the overall professionalism of the letter.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriately polite and create a positive tone.

task achievement

The writing tone is very suitable for a formal letter to a school head, demonstrating respect and interest.

task achievement

The letter thoroughly covers all the required points, explaining why you want to join, how you can assist, and posing relevant questions about the trip.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

233 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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