Your are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. There is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommodation you thought you were getting Ask the provider to solve the problem

#course #country #accommodation #provider

Dear Sir, I am writing to grab your attention on a serious matter which I am facing in my residence. I am not happy with

this

accommodation and facing difficulties while living here.

To begin

with, I am a foreign student from Pakistan, I took

admission

Replace the word

admitted

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

business management at your college and applied for college accommodation after getting admission. Before the commencement of

classes

Add a comma

,classes

show examples

accommodation was

allot

Change the form of the verb

allotted

show examples

to me, but

room

Add an article

the room

show examples

is too congested and there is

also

ventilation

Correct article usage

a ventilation

show examples

problem.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

gas pipe is

also

not functional due to which I have suffered

cold

Correct article usage

a cold

show examples

fever twice. When you allot me

room

, I thought it would be quite airy and ventilated

room

with full fledge amenities but

this

is contrary to my expectations.

In addition

to it, I was expecting to get a single

room

Change preposition

show examples

1st

Correct article usage

the 1st

show examples

floor but

this

Change preposition

show examples

7th

Correct article usage

the 7th

show examples

floor where no

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

window for ventilation and fresh air is. I would request you to shift my

room

so that I can concentrate on my study with full zeal and zest. I am ready to pay extra charges if required. I am highly grateful to you for your favour in

this

regard. Yours sincerely, Sehrish

kayani

Change the capitalization

Kayani

show examples

Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on Wed Nov 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

200 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations
Rapidly increasing ageing groups are becoming more widespread in many parts of the world. There are several problems caused for individuals and society, and various measures could be taken to reduce the drawbacks.
5.5
band
Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that the most important thing about being wealthy is that it allows people to help others. Although having a great deal of money does give the rich a chance to lend a helping hand to the less fortunate, I believe that it is not their responsibility.
5.5
band
Hostel management has decided to upgrade the security in and around the campus. The management has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have a new security measure. You are residing in a college hostel: Option A: New HD Night vision Cameras covering the area around the hostel. Option B: Installing biometric locks on the doors.
It has been brought to my attention that the hostel management decided to upgrade the security around the campus. While Others argue that Installing biometric locks is a good option , I personally believe that New HD night vision cameras would be a great idea. I will justify my choices in the following paragraphs.
7
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
"After completing high school, many students face a dilemma regarding their future path. The debate revolves around the choice between pursuing higher education at a university or college and entering the workforce immediately after graduating. This essay supports the view that further education is essential and will elucidate the reasons behind this stance.
6
band
The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact with many people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The vast majority of humans today use social media instead of real life meetings. Furthermore, they replaced bars, restaurants and parks which were general platforms for communication for people 20-30 years ago. From my point of view, these changes are inevitable, right now we must pay more attention to usage of our private data inside of these modern media giants and their security, however these applications and websites help us to stay in touch with our relatives and friends remotely, and this benefit is overweighting any disadvantages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact with many people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?