IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many person are opting for several career options as compared to a single career option to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #career #options #option #money
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Nowadays, occupational choices are altering to keep up with the developing world.
People
Use synonyms
 are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
preparing
 for various
career
Use synonyms
 paths
opposed
Correct word choice
as opposed
show examples
 to one-way
career
Use synonyms
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 to make more money.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 could be much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier, I completely agree with opting
several
Change preposition
for several
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 options is more logical
instead
Linking Words
 of hoping for help in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
job
Use synonyms
 because the incomes which employers give have experienced a dramatical decrease recently. Working in a single
job
Use synonyms
 is easier than working another
job
Use synonyms
additionally
Linking Words
. Employees who prefer
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 have
a limited responsibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a limited responsibility
limited responsibilities
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their jobs. They can concentrate
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 jobs
Correct your spelling
regardless
regarless
Correct your spelling
regardless
 of thinking after
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main
job
Use synonyms
, what will ı do in
my
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
second
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be less
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 in their lives and they can perform their capacities at the maximum level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,being
advance
Wrong verb form
advanced
show examples
 in a single
job
Use synonyms
 is not sufficient to earn enough money to survive because taken incomes decreased each every
job
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, twenty years ago, students
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduated
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 university and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started a
job
Use synonyms
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the department. The revenue which they take
compansated
Correct your spelling
compensated
 the most of their demands.
However
Linking Words
, these days,
people
Use synonyms
 have more features compared to previous
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the number of
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 who can do a certain
job
Use synonyms
 increased.
Thus
Linking Words
, employers are declining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries because they know employees have to earn money. So,
people
Use synonyms
 working actively in a
job
Use synonyms
 need to work a
second
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 at least for making their lives more livable. In conclusion, There is a changing human habit which is
Correct your spelling
preferring
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
multidirectional
Correct article usage
a multidirectional
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 way compared to the traditional method. I strongly believe that every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to keep pace with
this
Linking Words
 condition because of low incomes even if having
one-way
Add an article
a one-way
the one-way
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic necessity
  • gig economy
  • income diversification
  • personal fulfillment
  • technological advancements
  • digital platforms
  • work-life imbalance
  • stress and burnout
  • wage stagnation
  • rising cost of living
What to do next:
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