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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #aim #development #values
A lot of countries are using
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wealth creation as a tool to enhance their people’s life quality,
,,
Change preposition
of,,however
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 there are losing their substantial core values of society.
This
 essay will examine the upsides and downsides of the action and
then
 I will evaluate to weigh up which sides are more useful. As for, developments economically are the most rapid approach to establishing many amenities for countries which leads to effective infrastructures that everybody can apply for their own affairs. Encouraging business may increase the employment rates of countries and it indicates that people are hired by many sectors, both the private and the public sectors.
Therefore
, they will have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 life of security and it is related to their comfortable living. Another benefit is social mobility which is the process of someone who gains more money and
then
improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 their social status.
For example
, an industry in a city could employ staff from a surrounding area so city dwellers are recruited by a factory.
Consequently
, they receive a long-term profession with a sensible wage.
By contrast
, there are several drawbacks which gradually destroy our social culture.
Firstly
, in the future people will only concentrate on their possession namely, materialism and it can harm kindness between person to person because they focus on themselves and their purpose to earn a lot of money.
This
 trouble will not arise in recent times, but it would be a dramatic challenge for the
next
 generations.
Moreover
, many problems in relationships
such
 as family, friends, and couples seem to have occurred. When humans are determined to generate something, they will lose something that they do not pay attention to.
For instance
, for parents who spend time establishing the business, their children might not have enough warmth and they may become
mental
Change the word
mentally
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 illness
consequently
. In conclusion, in my view I believe that the advantages of economic development are more necessary for our world situation, The national leaders should develop economic growth with maintaining social values as the
second
 priority.
Submitted by pnchanikan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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