Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #aim #development #values

A lot of countries are using

Correct article usage

apply

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wealth creation as a tool to enhance their people’s life quality,

Change preposition

of,,however

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however

Add a comma

,however

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there are losing their substantial core values of society.

This

essay will examine the upsides and downsides of the action and

then

I will evaluate to weigh up which sides are more useful. As for, developments economically are the most rapid approach to establishing many amenities for countries which leads to effective infrastructures that everybody can apply for their own affairs. Encouraging business may increase the employment rates of countries and it indicates that people are hired by many sectors, both the private and the public sectors.

Therefore

, they will have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

life of security and it is related to their comfortable living. Another benefit is social mobility which is the process of someone who gains more money and

then

improving

Wrong verb form

improves

show examples

their social status.

For example

, an industry in a city could employ staff from a surrounding area so city dwellers are recruited by a factory.

Consequently

, they receive a long-term profession with a sensible wage.

By contrast

, there are several drawbacks which gradually destroy our social culture.

Firstly

, in the future people will only concentrate on their possession namely, materialism and it can harm kindness between person to person because they focus on themselves and their purpose to earn a lot of money.

This

trouble will not arise in recent times, but it would be a dramatic challenge for the

generations.

Moreover

, many problems in relationships

such

as family, friends, and couples seem to have occurred. When humans are determined to generate something, they will lose something that they do not pay attention to.

For instance

, for parents who spend time establishing the business, their children might not have enough warmth and they may become

mental

Change the word

mentally

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illness

consequently

. In conclusion, in my view I believe that the advantages of economic development are more necessary for our world situation, The national leaders should develop economic growth with maintaining social values as the

second

priority.

Submitted by pnchanikan on Wed Nov 23 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
quality of life
infrastructure
healthcare
education
job opportunities
unemployment
poverty
technological advancements
innovation
traditional cultural values
social bonds
material wealth
consumerism
social inequality
environmental conservation
wealth gap
vulnerable groups

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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some individuals argue that children should always heed the advice given by their parents, while others believe that children should make decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest?