Wild animals have no place in the 21th century. So protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In current times there are some
people
who believe that
animals
in the wild should not be protected from being harmed or killed since
this
would be a waste of resources. I personally disagree with
this
statement, since each wildlife serves a purpose for our globe when it comes to nature and climate. First of all, if humankind on
this
planet were to stop protecting wild
animals
, it would change our environment in a negative way. There are many species that are crucial for our planet, and some of them serve the purpose
to provide
Change preposition
of providing
show examples
food for
people
living on Earth.
For example
, Bees are creatures that
are producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
pollen by eating nectar from flowers and other plants which they
then
make honey from. If they were to be extinct, our world would not be able to produce a lot of the food humans and
animals
are consuming daily.
This
would lead to more
animals
starving or dying which would
then
affect us
people
.
Furthermore
, it has shown that wildlife
that is
being killed and eaten has affected our climate in a harmful way.
This
caused more deadly diseases to spread all over the world and made more individuals and
animals
sick.
For instance
, in ,China they are killing wild bats that have been spreading a virus called Covid 19.
This
was a deadly disease that killed millions of
people
and
animals
in the wild. In conclusion, if we do not keep our wildlife protected it will cause harm to nature and the climate which will
then
continue to have a bad impact on other creatures living on planet Earth.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: Your essay provides a complete response to the task prompt, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant arguments and examples. However, ensure that each point is developed fully and consider addressing any potential counterarguments to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and is generally well organized. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined and serve to frame the essay more effectively. Additionally, consider using more transitional phrases to create smoother connections between ideas and paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • resilience
  • habitats
  • conservation
  • ecological services
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • carbon sequestration
  • urbanization
  • stewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!