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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
In today's world, the population grow up fast. The needs
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
also
 grow spontaneously with the population. As to support the huge amount of population, some countries are trying to make use of edible
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
food
Add an article
a food
show examples
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
. For having
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
food
Add an article
a food
show examples
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
, there are more
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 than
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
 for the world.
Firstly
, the nutrition of
insect
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 high as normal
food
.
This
 is
one
 of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 of having insects. There are
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
 of
nutrition
Replace the word
nutrients
show examples
such
 as proteins inside each
insect
. Just a small
Correct your spelling
consumption
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 can support human's daily nesseccities. It is important as being
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a food resource
food resources
show examples
food
 resources. Daily nesseccities of a large group of people can to supported by eating
Add an article
an insect
show examples
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
. The high nutrition level of
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 is
one
 of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 of having
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
food
.
In addition
, the reachable
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 is way easier than other
food
. Insects are everywhere in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
. It is easy to reach them and get a large amount of it.
Also
, it has a shorter them for
waiting
Add the preposition
forwaiting
show examples
 them to grow. At the
Correct your spelling
same
smae
Correct your spelling
same
 time,
Add an article
the insect
an insect
show examples
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 may not need
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to take care
of
Correct pronoun usage
themof
show examples
. Not like plants like rice or fruit, people need to take care of it most of the time to let
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 grow well. It is easier for people to consume
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as it is easy to reach.
However
, there are
also
 harms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
food
. The most serious impact is it will harm the
ecosystem
. Insert is
also
one
 of the
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
show examples
. They are the
food
 for some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the animals
such
 as
Add an article
a bird
show examples
bird
Fix the agreement mistake
birds
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 different
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 are
also
 the
food
 of the others. If
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 start consuming edible
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
,
such
 as
ant
Fix the agreement mistake
ants
show examples
, it will cause a large group of
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
disappear
Add the particle
to disappear
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sudden
Change the word
suddenly
show examples
. It
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 great harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
 as other animals may become lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
. With the great
Correct your spelling
decrease
degree
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
food
, those will get die because of staffing. It will cause a
break down
Correct your spelling
breakdown
show examples
 of
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 as
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 is consuming
Change noun form
others
show examples
others'
Correct pronoun usage
other'
show examples
creatures
Change noun form
creatures'
creature's
show examples
food
.
This
 is
one
 of the drawbacks of eating insects. In
conculde
Correct your spelling
conclude
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
food
.
However
, the drawback of harming the
ecosystem
 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
. And human will
also
 be affected in
one
 day with the less type of species we can choose to it other than
Add an article
an insect
show examples
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
.
Submitted by ellenlai12 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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