IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
There are some opinions about that. Nowadays, humans give different things as
Add an article
a gift
show examples
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
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. While some argue that money is a good gift for teenagers, others claim that it has a negative impact on teenagers. I, on my part, believe that teenagers should be given more books as gifts. To commence with the view on the former group. There are two reasons behind their position.
First
Add a comma
,First
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 it that. Some people think that money is the best present for adults because choosing a present is difficult.
Additionally
, during adolescence, they want to get a lot of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 as
present
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the present
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. Parents hesitate to give presents.
Thus
, people prefer to give money. It has a negative impact
their
Change preposition
on their
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 life. They may was it on
useless
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the useless
a useless
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 instance, playing video games and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 addicted to alcohol.
Definitely
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,Definitely
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 other arguments exist too, but the ones mentioned, I believe, do stand out. Turning to the latter
group
Change noun form
group's
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 point of view, they
also
 have their own group to justify the position they hold,
first
 of
all
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,all
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 some teens use it for
useful
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a useful
the useful
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 if someone gifts them cash, they could get the required materials for their interests.
For example
, book reading is a famous happy maintained by teens and they want to select
the
Correct article usage
a
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 book
it
Correct your spelling
in
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 their own genre and buy it. The availability of other arguments is undeniable, but mentioning them is not worthy. In conclusion,
although
 the opinions of people
regarding despite
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apply
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humans
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 different views. I personally believe that cash gifts are the best presents
to
Change preposition
for
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a adults
Correct the article-noun agreement
adults
an adult
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.
Also
, they get what they want through it.
Such
 as
,
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apply
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 their favourite meals, clothes and shoes
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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