In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

Senior citizens are often found living in retirement

homes

. In some cultures,

this

kind of treatment is unacceptable since it is believed that ageing people should be taken care of by their families. I disagree with the statement and find it very reasonable to let nursing

homes

look after them. First of all, there is no guarantee that families are capable of supporting and taking care of their ageing members. They normally have their own business to attend to.

For instance

, young people are often found to be busy with their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

or studies.

As a result

, they would not be able to fulfil the needs of their elders.

For

this

reason, it might be better to let them live in retirement

homes

, which can provide them with everything they need and improve their life quality.

Furthermore

, senior family members would be able to socialize with others in nursing

homes

. It is not rare for them to feel lonely or neglected

although

they are living with their family.

This

due to

the inability of both young and old people to empathize or connect with each other. To give a clear example, most teenagers or adults use sophisticated technologies in their daily lives which the elderly could barely fathom.

This

creates a barrier between them because they are unable to understand each other.

Therefore

, it would actually be more considerate of the family to let them live with other

elderlies

Replace the word

elderly people

show examples

. In conclusion, it is completely normal and reasonable for families to put their elders in nursing

homes

. It would be much better than trying to do it themselves when they do not have the ability to do so.

Submitted by jocelinearaki on Thu Nov 24 2022

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task response

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a more comprehensive overview of the arguments and main points.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.