In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

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Senior citizens are often found living in retirement

homes

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. In some cultures,

this

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kind of treatment is unacceptable since it is believed that ageing people should be taken care of by their families. I disagree with the statement and find it very reasonable to let nursing

homes

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look after them. First of all, there is no guarantee that families are capable of supporting and taking care of their ageing members. They normally have their own business to attend to.

For instance

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, young people are often found to be busy with their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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or studies.

As a result

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, they would not be able to fulfil the needs of their elders.

For

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this

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reason, it might be better to let them live in retirement

homes

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, which can provide them with everything they need and improve their life quality.

Furthermore

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, senior family members would be able to socialize with others in nursing

homes

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. It is not rare for them to feel lonely or neglected

although

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they are living with their family.

This

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due to

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the inability of both young and old people to empathize or connect with each other. To give a clear example, most teenagers or adults use sophisticated technologies in their daily lives which the elderly could barely fathom.

This

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creates a barrier between them because they are unable to understand each other.

Therefore

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, it would actually be more considerate of the family to let them live with other

elderlies

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elderly people

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. In conclusion, it is completely normal and reasonable for families to put their elders in nursing

homes

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. It would be much better than trying to do it themselves when they do not have the ability to do so.

Submitted by jocelinearaki on Thu Nov 24 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the prompt, including counterarguments and complexities.

coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a more comprehensive overview of the arguments and main points.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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