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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisement #products #lives
If city livers want to get a bit of peace and quiet, they can go to a park and satisfy with nature,
bird’s
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bird
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 songs and maybe
sounds
Correct article usage
the sounds
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 of river flow. For
people
 who want to work in
quiet
Add an article
a quiet
show examples
place
Add a comma
,place
show examples
 the best decision is a library.
Usually
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,Usually
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 there is a “No noise” rule. And
one
 more
place
 to find
a peace
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peace
a feeling of peace
a sense of peace
a wave of peace
show examples
 is a church.
Special
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A special
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place
 and it’s not for everyone, but
people
 can
to
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apply
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be by themselves there. Usually,
people
 think long and hard about relationships.
For example
, when a man wants to make a marriage purpose
to
Change preposition
for
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 his girlfriend he thinks a lot about
place
Add an article
the place
a place
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, time, atmosphere etc.
Also
, it’s difficult to decide
buying
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to buy
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 or
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
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 expensive things like a flat or a car. Or
decision
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a decision
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 about immigration because
people
 have to worry about money,
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 language, new culture and many other things in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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place
. When we’re talking about
city’s
Correct article usage
the city’s
show examples
 disadvantages and things which
people
 may
sick
Add a missing verb
be sick
show examples
 and tired of, the
first
 thing which comes to my mind is
a
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apply
show examples
noise.
Also
, I dislike long distances because when I want to visit
some
Correct your spelling
someplace
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place
, I don’t want to
spent
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spend
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 hours in the underground. And
one
 more thing is crowded public transport and streets in congested and sprawling cities. In
Russia
Add a comma
,Russia
show examples
 we have many stupid laws and regulations.
For example
, Instagram and Facebook ban, but everybody who wants to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 just
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
Fix the infinitive
to use
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use
Change the form of the verb
using
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
One
 more stupid regulation is a law about foreign agents. Everybody who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an opinion different from
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
one
 can get a foreign agent status.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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