IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#week #workers #weekend
Nowadays, there has been a rising opinion that employees should have more
days
 to rest and decrease their working time. Personally,
although
 there are some drawbacks that we need to acknowledge, I believe that workers having an extended weekend will bring some significant effects that will be elucidated in the essay. Most obviously, giving workers a shorter working schedule can improve the working efficiency of the company. Having extra time for the weekend means that they can have more chances to unwind and pursue personal interests.
This
, in turn, can make them fully energized and completely ready for a new day of job.
Consequently
, workforce productivity can be rapidly improved.
Furthermore
, longer working hours do not mean that it comes up with better production.
Conversely
, with fewer hours to endeavour, people are forced to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
work
 and limit distractions, which directly improves their efficiency. Take the case of Microsoft as an example: when they experimented with a 4-day
work
week
, they found productivity was boosted by 40%.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of a shorter working
week
 need to be acknowledged. It is true that working four or three
days
 a
week
 is not suitable for everyone. Some people prefer to
work
 five or even six
days
 a
week
 because they believe that it works better for them and they do not get fatigued when working for a long period of time.
Furthermore
, some businesses are required to be available 24/7, or even seven
days
 a
week
, rather than four. If employees in these industries
work
 shorter weeks, customers can face delays and employees are unable to complete their
work
 properly. In conclusion, I subscribe to the idea of reducing the working day as it can help improve the productivity of workers, which results in better results for the company.
However
, it is crucial to notice that not all people are suited to
this
 type of
work
 and not all businesses
work
 well with
this
 schedule.
Submitted by nphlpro on

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task achievement
Consider mentioning the counterarguments briefly in the introduction to give a more balanced view from the start.
task achievement
Ensure all significant points and examples are thoroughly explained to avoid any minor ambiguities.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to further enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that sets up the argument effectively.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, including a strong example about Microsoft's 4-day work week.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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