Write about the following topic. Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #government #rise #obesity #children

Obesity

is an enormous impact on

children

nowadays. More than half of the population of

children

are suffering due to

obesity

. Some

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

individuals think that the authorities are responsible for the increase in

obesity

among youngsters, but I completely disagree with the aforementioned point, and the following subsequent paragraphs will elaborate on the reasons. To commence with,

firstly

parents

should take responsibility to take care of their

children

because the government cannot advise each child or parent to look after their

children

Therefore

, as ,

parents

they should provide a healthy balanced diet and cut off high amounts of carbs and fats in their bodies. As an example, caregivers or

parents

making a meal for

children

with sufficient proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals will develop

children

's bodies healthily.

Hence

, governments are not responsible for

children

obesity

since they cannot control the food market if they did so the economy of the country will lead to a downfall.

Secondly

, educators can control the

obesity

rate of

children

, by educating them. Today most of the younger

children

get knowledge about healthy eating and eating habits from kindergarten teachers even though they do not understand, but when they come to a certain age

children

know how to control their high weight.

Also

, teachers providing daily exercise in schools and other educational institutions will enhance the knowledge of

children

about the side effects of high

obesity

and what consequences

children

have to face in the future. To exemplify, today every childcare in Australia has a sports day program on Friday to develop

children

's physical fitness and reduce their weight.

However

, the government can provide different programs from their ends to enhance the knowledge and fitness of offspring but teacher should put them into practice. To conclude, I strongly disagree that government is responsible for

children

obesity

because

parents

and teachers are the people who can educate and provide healthy food routines for

children

Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on Thu Nov 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write about the following topic. Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbor moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: explain the situation describe why it bothers you suggest a solution

Some people say that only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?