Some believe children spending time on television and games is beneficial.others don't agree.discuss both views and give opinion.

#believe #children #time #television #games

Currently,

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

world is becoming more and more popular, and it leads everyone especially children to spend time on

games

and entertainment devices. Some people believe that living like

this

is not a problem, but it is useful to children. In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

strongly disagree with

this

notion. The

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

will discuss in the following paragraphs: Some hold a firm belief that watching television and playing

games

on computers have various benefits.

Firstly

, these sources of entertainment can enhance brain development. By interacting with the world through those technologies, either real or artificial, their brains’ functions including spatial-visual reasoning can be boosted subconsciously.

Furthermore

, after a heavy workload of studying, students should find a stress reliever to provide an escape from information overload,

therefore

, those kinds of entertainment can be extremely suitable for these situations.

However

, others raise voices of disapproval by stating that those leisure activities can have a negative influence on their children.

This

is because of the excessive amount of time spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing video

games

, which eventually leads to addiction. Nowadays the advancement of these sources of vast media has been to the extent that once young and impressional people take part in, they will grow an instant interest, henceforth, it is hard to stop to do other work

such

as dealing with homework or reviewing the lessons. To illustrate, a single episode of a popular drama film tends to

last

1 hour, let alone a whole season; whereas ,

in contrast

, students only have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

hours to both relax and prepare for the

school day. To conclude, both sides have their own merits.

However

, from my ,perspective I am inclined to the opinion that playing computer

games

and watching TV has great advantages for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters as long as time is spent moderately.

Submitted by pvattanasiritham on Thu Nov 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people think employers should not pay attention to the way their employees dress. Because the quality of their work is more important. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Part of the society believes that employers should not care about the dressing way of their workers, rather than their working skills. Nevertheless, I disagree on this opinion. I believe that the way of dressing can benefit a business in many ways.
4.5
band
While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Employers consider many factors when hiring new staff. Some argue that personal traits of a potential employee are more important than their qualifications and experience. I tend to disagree.
7
band
We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, technology has made it easier for people to stay connected to others. However, despite this, many individuals still find it difficult to feel happy in their lives. I agree that we are living in an electronic information age, but I believe that happiness is not solely dependent on technology.
6.5
band
Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is believed that young students should learn every subject which is taught at school. Nevertheless, there are some opposing opinions stating that learning their favorite ones is enough for them. While there are a number of benefits to children who acquire knowledge of many subjects, I would argue that studying the subjects that they have an interest in offers more advantages.
7.5
band
Some people believe that success comes from hard work. Others believe that success has to do with luck. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion
Some folks think that success comes from working hard but another half of the population thinks that luck brings success. I on the other hand agree with both these statements.

Some believe children spending time on television and games is beneficial.others don't agree.discuss both views and give opinion.

Some people think employers should not pay attention to the way their employees dress. Because the quality of their work is more important. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that success comes from hard work. Others believe that success has to do with luck. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion