At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.
Population figures
receives
a significant concern from governments. People have different views about whether young communities are Change the verb form
receive
beneficial
than older ones or not. While there may be drawbacks, I believe that youth Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
are
crucial for any country.
On the one hand, young adults have the privilege of being physically efficient and internally motivated for more productivity. Nowadays, tremendous jobs require employees to work hard for long hours to achieve goals. Change the verb form
is
Hence
, because of their younger age, they can withstand the difficulties they face. Not only that,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a young person with motivation can play a crucial role in the overall progression of a community. Unlike the old citizen
, he has the desire to develop Replace the word
city
further
in his profession and reach beyond the expected. For example
, if learning a job skill requires travelling to far places, juniors will be chosen for it. Therefore
, older citizens are less productive than the younger.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that junior folks are not mature enough lacking experience, wisdom and patience. To illustrate, we gain experience by dealing with various issues that we face during
life. Change preposition
in
Consequently
, by
Change preposition
over
time
we are able to manage problems in a wise way. Add an article
the time
Moreover
, seniors have the advantage of being patient in treating life concerns. For instance
, if a senior was put in competition with a young one, he would take time, but he will reach right.
In conclusion, older and younger people are needed for the whole community, however
youth are considered the gold stone of building countries.Add a comma
,however
Submitted by drahmedibrahim91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!