IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #impact #people’s #lives #television
Watching TV is not well-known as the
internet
, so it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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has a huge effect on people’s lives. In my opinion, I completely agree that using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 influential.
This
 essay will analyse that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 allows
to exchange
Change the verb form
exchanging
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information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 and does not require additional costs. The
internet
 is a huge library for people, where it is possible to find any
information
. Thanks to
this
,
Add an article
a person
the person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 can learn about new news, weather forecast,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
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 on roads being
on
Change preposition
in
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 one place.
Moreover
, it
is give
Change the verb form
gives
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possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
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 to
collection
Add an article
the collection
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, storage and transmission of
Correct your spelling
valuable
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
information
.
For example
, social networks help to reach messages to the recipient in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 seconds
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using emails and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 fast feedback. Nowadays with the development of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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, a lot of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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use the
internet
. Unlike installing
TV
Add an article
the TV
a TV
show examples
,
this
 is less expensive, because it does not require the connection of additional cables.
Furthermore
, on the
Internet
 a lot of possibilities to find a job that will be highly paid and bring pleasure.
For instance
, PR managers, whose job is in external communication of the company, person and earn about 350,000
tenge
Change to a plural noun
tenges
show examples
 per month To conclude, the
Internet
 helps to receive and exchange
information
, being in one place and
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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 through the
Internet
 profession,
thus
 having a huge and positive impact on a person's life.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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