IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Home schooling is getting a lot importance over traditional learning environment provided by schools. What is your opinion on the subject?

Whether
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 teaching areas as a public region provided by academies like study rooms, laboratories and classrooms have more advantages for
education
Use synonyms
 or collaboration
family
Punctuation problem
, family
show examples
 at home is playing a major role
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, teachers and parents have
alleged
Verb problem
argued
show examples
 together in
this
Linking Words
 regard, and
due to
Linking Words
this
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, I am going to explore both sides
for clarifying
Change preposition
to clarify
show examples
 which is better for society. In a beginning, libraries as a part of academic institutions are playing a major role in better performance of people in their academic
education
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
, classrooms and laboratories have been designed to ignite a sense of curiosity in
students
Use synonyms
 who will be able to raise their own problem-solving ability,
for example
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, Harvard University which is located at US and known as a well-known institution around the world has been constructed by many classic areas to push the motivation of their individuals,
while
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, it has understood if there are not well-designated decorates for the campus, reduction in performance of
students
Use synonyms
 will not unexpected.
Although
Linking Words
, others opine
students
Use synonyms
 must be overwhelmed in their life,
in particular
Linking Words
, at the locations will spend a large amount of their own time,
consequently
Linking Words
, it would seem homes are an essential part of
education
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 fact, many countries have balanced study tasks between classrooms and homework,
while
Linking Words
, Japan as a great country in the educational system has forbidden studying at home for primary levels, but, in secondary schools,
students
Use synonyms
 have allowed doing their own tasks at home,
as a result
Linking Words
, speculating on the importance of academic spaces in comparison private space is a controversial topic that has not been well investigated. In conclusion, in my point of view, private spaces must be specified for kids indirectly regarding
education
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the contrary
Linking Words
, completing tasks must
prevent
Wrong verb form
be prevented
show examples
 outside of schools
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 alongside, a higher level of
education
Use synonyms
need
Wrong verb form
is needed
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of buildings
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as laboratories and libraries.

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task
State a clear view on the topic in the first part of the essay and keep it in mind through all write.
task
Make a small plan before you write. Use two sides and finish with your own view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple signs like first, also, but, so, in the end to keep flow.
accuracy
Use facts that are easy to check and true. Avoid wrong or unclear facts.
example
Give one clear example for each idea, and keep it easy to see.
content
You touch the topic of home study and school space.
structure
There is an intro and a close to the text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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