Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There is a belief that hours are spent by
children
on their cell phones every day. In my opinion,
this
happens mainly because of the lack of responsibility among modern parents.
Therefore
, I think that
this
modern pattern causes more trouble than gives benefits. In
this
essay, I will consider
this
situation and express my own ideas. Observing the causes, Modern parents, who are always busy because of hard work, spend much fewer hours playing or talking with their
children
. Playing or watching videos on their smartphones are just ways to spend some free time
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
children
who can hardly ever interact with their parents.
For example
, there are a lot of mothers who really can not play with their
children
while cooking dinner or doing domestic chores. In
such
situations giving
children
an endless way to play by themselves – is one of the options.
On the other hand
, I think that a small number of interactions with people can cause a lot of
problems
for a child in the future. Lack of social skills, studying
problems
, and addiction to the virtual world – a possible result of
such
upbringing.
For example
, spending more than two hours on phones a day, according to psychology experts, will cause a lot of
problems
with physical and mental health
such
as bad vision(sight), anger, and reduced stress resistance. To conclude, even though every parent can choose their own way of upbringing, they must be alerted about
problems
caused by mobile devices.
However
, in my opinion, a cell phone as a problem-solving tool for a small amount of time among adults is one of the worst options.
Submitted by cnomarov on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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